To The One Who Has Loved Me Through My Mental Illness
How do I even begin to put into words how grateful I am for you...
From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you for loving me through all the bad times. Thank you for sticking by my side through all the messes I’ve made. Thank you for not giving up on me, when I had already given up on myself. I know that’s not easy to do.
You have loved me when I was only a shell of myself. You have picked me up off the cold bathroom tile and held me through my break downs while depressed. You have stuck by my side and helped clean up the messes I’ve made throughout all my reckless behavior while manic.
You’ve watched me go into full on rages, throwing things, hitting things, etc. and somehow still managed to stay calm with me.
You’ve held me tight in your arms and didn’t let go no matter how much I begged you to, because all I wanted to do in that moment was die. You have no idea how much that mattered, and the impact it truly had.
You’ve wasted your weekends, cancelled your plans, to lay with me in bed for hours on end just because I was too depressed to get up and didn’t want to be alone.
You’ve had to put your feelings and emotions on the back burner just so that you could cater to mine. That is such a selfless thing to do and I am so sorry that you have had to do this.
You’ve understood and stuck by my side when I isolated myself from all our family and friends. Sometimes, it was even you that I was isolating myself from, and still, you never left.
You have had to learn to live half a life sometimes, just to protect me and my emotions, and again, I am so sorry for that.
You have had so many opportunities to give up on me…most people would have. But you never have and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to repay you for all your support.
Even when you couldn’t understand what I was going through in my head, you’ve never questioned me. You stuck by my side and just let me ride it out.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be from the other side. How frustrating it must be to learn to live with and love someone with mental illness but I’m so glad I met someone who was strong enough to do that.
You are my rock. Without people like you in my life, I don’t think I would still be here. So again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. You make me want to be better.