To Make Friends, You Must Come Out of Your Glass-Jar

Isn't it a bit cold today? Yeah, it's cold.

The conversation is finished before the beginning. How often do you start a conversation with questions like this? It's safe as it doesn't need a personal opinion to answer. You can reply without forcing yourself into a real conversation.

Yes, people in the UK complain a lot about the weather. That's true. But if you want to make a genuine connection with other people, the weather-talk hardly works.

Maybe you find it difficult to express yourself to the next person, or you cannot trust the people around you. So, you play safe, confining yourself in your own glass-jar. You start the conversation with questions that hardly have a personal touch.

You can safely sit in your glass jar, and while answering, the other person does it too.

Modern-day communication dies like this as it becomes lifeless, superficial, and fake. Nobody is touching anybody.

By playing too safe, you miss the chance to make a fruitful connection to the other person you are talking to. If you open yourself, show interest, and be true to what you say, the other person will likely do the same.

Who knows - he/she can be your next best friend if you dare to come out of your jar.

Inside of Your Very Own Glass-Jar

In this so-called connected world, we all live in our own glass-jars. We see everything behind a glass-barricade. We talk, keeping a safe distance from the other person. Maybe the other person is in his/her glass jar and does the same.

This other person can be your colleague, or the man sits next to you on the train, or the face you see while shopping every week. Maybe he/she is your neighbor or the person you chat with online.

The truth is, nowadays, most people feel comfortable living in their glass-jars. They talk but do not connect well.

☎️The Superficial Conversation

Most people have conversations superficially. They hardly trust the people they are talking to. They fear that they will expose their vulnerabilities or engage in deep conversation. They fear arguments, questions, and opposing thoughts.

So, people often tend to start a conversation with a safe subject that doesn't require personal opinions or views. Then after a few common questions and answers, the conversation ends in uncomfortable silence.

Nobody is affected, so both are safe. But the possibility of creating a connection ends. Consequently, one of them or both starts to feel low.

😨You're Too Scared, Aren't You?

You can justify your inability to connect to the people around you by just saying that you are an introvert. You know that it's not true.

The truth is you are afraid to break your comfort zone. You are scared of whether the conversation will expose your lack of understanding of something or your vulnerabilities.

So, you feel reluctant to take any risks of being engaged with the next person in any deep-conversation.

How to Come Out of Your Jar and Make Friends

It's crucial to understand that your life cannot be a complete one without some meaningful connections. If you think making friends and talking to them is just a waste of your time, trust me, you will end up your life being lonely-friendless-jerk.

You must come out of your jar and make a real connection with the people around you. It will help you to maintain your emotional balance as well as make your life colorful.

Let's see how we all can come out of our jars and make meaningful connections with others.

➰Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

It is hard for many of us to confront something new. We often consider new experiences threatening. But if you get out of your comfort zone, you will be able to allow yourself to different situations.

Trust me - you can learn new things and meet interesting people if you just come out of your cocoon. A new world will open in front of very eyes. There is no pride in living inside a jar and constantly polluting your mind by saying that you are an introvert.

No one was born as introverts or extroverts. It is a choice we made later due to our circumstances. And you are never late to start something new. So, choose wisely and don't be the boring person in the room.

➰Become Curious

To break the glass-jar, you must be curious about others. Ask themselves what they are doing with their life. Is everything okay? Where are they going? What works do they do for a living? Is everyone doing well in their family?

Become curious about the people around you. If the other person is reserved, you should take your time and give him/her a ground to express his/her world. You can talk a few things about you beforehand.

Make him/her feel that you're genuinely interested to know and your care for him/her. It's not rocket science. If you become curious about a person, he/she will be interested in you too.

➰Be Authentic

When you are authentic in what you are saying, you are saying it right. Don't deliver false information to enhance your image. Be true to the other person.

Sometimes, after saying a thing or asking a question, you may feel that you did a stupid thing. Trust me; it doesn't matter. Just be authentic. Tell the person, 'oh! I'm sorry, maybe I asked a stupid question.'

You will see that he/she will be okay with that and become more friendly, seeing your honesty.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are wrong.

➰Show Positive Gesture

When you are talking to someone in person, show positive gesture. Use your hands, your eye movements, and facial expressions to express your thoughts more interestingly.

If you are texting, make sure that you spell each word correctly, and your sentences carry your feelings well.

While talking over the phone, play with the tone of your voice to dive deep into the conversation. Nobody wants to talk to a monotonous speaker.

Having a good conversation is an art. Be the master of it by deliberate practice.

➰ Smile

People who smile have fewer enemies and more friends. A gentle smile can make the other person happy. If you have any doubt about the notion that smile works, see your smiling face in the mirror. Isn't it beautiful?

Smile is a powerful tool to make your conversation interesting. It helps you break the glass-jar. When you meet your colleague or your neighbors, give a smile, and ask them how they are.

Try to make a connection. Please, do not feel satisfied living inside your jar. Open up, share your thoughts, ask questions, involve, engage, and make meaningful connections.

Final Thoughts

Listen, you are not the only better person in this world. Many excellent human beings are out there with their incredible stories to tell.

If you dare to break your glass-jar and come out of it, you will make lovely connections with many of them. You will learn a thing or two from the people around you.

Your friends are waiting inside their glass-jars. First, you come out of your own. Then help others to get out of their jars and make friends.

Have a wonderful life!

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Thank you for reading.

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* The article was originally published on Medium (link)