To lose is to win
A little more peace, a little more warmth, life will have brilliant sunshine!
One part of the year-end review is a poll, where everyone gives everyone a composite score, which is an overall evaluation of the person's work.
As a result, my colleague Jiang ranked last. The order was originally confidential, but Jiang did not know where to get the news, very angry, he angrily went to the head of the theory. The leader has a level, patiently listened to the small ginger finish, and finally very sympathetic and very helpless said, this is not a person I can control, but we comment out, I also can't do. Ginger was speechless and came back unhappy.
This made me very surprised: although Jiang's business level can not be said to be the first, but also tolerable, the performance is also good. What's the matter with colleagues? They don't all have bad intentions, do they?
Later, after much understanding, I came to the truth of the matter:
Xiao Jiang usually has a habit of arguing with his colleagues about the trifles. Every time, he always gets the upper hand and never gives up. Especially when he was sure that he was right, he would be more assertive, and even took out books as evidence to refute the other side. When it comes to pride, he is unapologetically sarcastic, and has the power to kill. To do so, he often puts others in awkward situations. And he did not know awakening, patronizing his mouth happy, go his own way. After a long time, although people do not say, the heart has long been to him at a respectful distance.
Small talk between colleagues, with a certain degree of arbitrariness, there is no principle, no one can guarantee 100% correct, there will always be omissions. To say the least, there are times when different versions of a book do not agree on the same question. For example, I read two books at the same time about the age of the Earth: one said it was more than 5 billion years old, the other said it was more than 4 billion years old. Which is right and which is wrong is hard to define. Individual sources of information are sometimes multi-channel, multi-angle, itself does not exist the question of who is right or wrong. In all fairness, Lao are irrelevant to take, say that finish even if finished, can't be too serious.
Argument is a low-level psychology, the essence of which is to prove that both sides of the argument are right. And truth is objective existence, not in the debate. Both sides of an argument never win. They lose from the beginning. Lost, is lost; You win, you lose. If you win the argument, you deny the other person, and the other person will be embarrassed. Let others lose face, others will resent you, you will lose the heart, lose harmonious interpersonal relations. In the long run, no one will talk to you. You're all alone.
In life, there is no need to argue about everything. Fight with the family, won, the family is gone; Fight with love, win, feelings light; Fight with friends, win, friendship is lost... Fight is reason, lose is love. Far away is the feeling, hurt yourself. Black is not white, white is not black, let time to prove.
There is a classic saying in gambling circles: the highest level of never losing is never gambling. To paraphrase this saying, the best way to win popularity is to never fight. This is not a matter of stance, but a strategy of life, a wisdom of life. If the other person knows in hindsight that you were right and gives him some wiggle room, he will admire you from the inside.
If you understand this, don't talk too fast, get into unnecessary fights, or shy away from arguments when they are inevitable, you avoid confrontation. No argument, no win. But you're actually winning -- winning relationships. Put down their own opinionated, relaxed work, willing to work, win is the whole life. A little more peace, a little more warmth, life will have brilliant sunshine!
Some people say: only do not fight, so the world can not fight with it.