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Three Words to End Any Argument

The simple way to diffuse a disagreement

By James LogiePublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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Three Words to End Any Argument
Photo by Austin Pacheco on Unsplash

This may come as a surprise, but people seem to have become more combative than ever…

That’s obviously not a shock, as there’s a lot of anger floating around out there. It seems as if people would rather be heard than be right. They react without thinking and aggression has become the default setting.

A healthy debate, however, is a great thing. The ability to exchange ideas — even opposing ones — can create an open dialogue. But what about those times you find yourself in disagreement with someone who just refuses to listen?

My Grandpa taught me an effective way.

Three Simple Words

My Grandpa lived to 92. He fought in the Second World War and had been all over the world. During his time, he encountered his fair share of “jackasses.”

When he realized there wasn’t any way to persuade them or have them listen to reason, he found the easiest way to end an argument was by saying this:

“You’re probably right.”

Those three words are incredibly powerful. They are the perfect way to end a dialogue that’s not going anywhere. When you find yourself in disagreement with someone — who’s not even remotely interested in listening to a different point of view — it’s the best way to end things and walk away.

When you say “you’re probably right,” it gives you some power in the situation. You get to end it on your terms.

There’s also just enough ambiguity in the statement to make them feel as if they’re right, even though you haven’t truly admitted that. I’ve found this really stops people in their tracks. It’s just enough to silence them, as there’s no real comeback to the statement.

Side note: If you use this phrase and ever hear the response “I know I’m right,” it further enforces the type of person you’re dealing with and why it’s not worth dragging things out.

When is the Best Time to Use This?

Again, this is best used in those situations where an exchange of ideas is going nowhere. Once you realize the person you’re engaged with has no interest in hearing your side: you’ve got a great way out. It also takes them down a notch, too.

It’s not about being rude, it’s about trying to show them how disagreeable they’ve been and there’s no solution to the argument.

In a perfect debate, both sides are respectful of one another. And while you may not agree with their viewpoint, you still acknowledge it. Agreeing to disagree is the ideal outcome of a conflict that can’t be resolved — but that’s in a perfect world.

The world we find ourselves in seems to be the complete opposite of this. We’re more likely to encounter those who are only looking to be combative and have their minds made up.

There seems to be so much more of this right now. I’m not sure how, but a celebration of ignorance has taken hold of society. You don’t need to look any further than the comment section of social media and YouTube.

These places seem to bring out the dregs of society. I learned a while ago to avoid these places. But there may be certain circumstances when you feel the need to engage. I would only suggest this if you see the exchange is productive and respectful.

For anything hateful, it’s of course best to ignore, block, and move on. But if a debate starts out well, and then degrades into something that isn’t going anywhere, “you’re probably right” is a great way to end it.

What Are You Trying to Win?

I won’t lie: I used to be pretty argumentative. Maybe I still am. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that there is so much I don’t know (just ask ex-girlfriends) and I think I’ve got better at seeing both sides of the story.

I’m competitive by nature and have a hard time losing — you may feel the same way. These days, I question what exactly I'm trying to win when it comes to a disagreement. We argue over such trivial things, and we waste so much time and energy doing so.

But ultimately: what do you gain by being right? I’ve found that telling someone they’re probably right was the best way to save face, cut things off before they get worse, and take the high road.

“You’re probably right” is also the best way to tell someone they’re wrong, without actually saying it. At the very least, you leave them with a response they never expect. People aren’t used to hearing this sort of thing and expect constant retaliation.

Telling them they’re probably right can make you stand out in a sea of angst and hostility. I’ve found that when I’ve used this, it leaves them with nothing to say.

Key Takeaways

As I write this, I have two specific people in mind that this phrase needs to be used on. You are probably picturing a few of your own.

“You’re probably right” definitely isn’t the best way to end every argument — but it is effective in those situations where there’s no end in sight.

I understand there’s a tinge of rudeness to it. You’re essentially saying “shut up,” and “I don’t care to hear about anything else you have to say.” Not ideal, but I’ve found it to be the best way out of a bad situation where there’s no chance of compromise.

You may find that it’s best used when no other resolution can be found and when you’re dealing with genuine ignorance.

You may consider it a bit on the rude side, but it’s a lot better than what you probably want to say — and that never ends up going well. It’s the polite way to be rude when you’re fed up with mindless arguing. I’m sure there are many people in your life that fit this bill, and engaging with them can be exhausting.

I’ve found that it’s become easier to spot someone who just wants to stir up anger. They seem to get a sense of power from making others feel agitated. This may be the only way they can make an impact. It’s like the little kid who acts out to get attention.

Instead of being drawn into a hopeless argument, I’ve found that “you’re probably right” makes it fizzle out quick. Is there a better way to end things? Possibly, but there’s so much combativeness out there that I’d just rather cut things off as soon as possible.

If you find yourself in this situation, give it a try. It’s a great tool to keep in your back pocket.

humanity
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About the Creator

James Logie

Personal trainer, nutrionist, traveler, blogger, podcaster, lover of the 80s.

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