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Thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": the real drag you down, is the victim mentality

“乌鸦定律”

By Dylan M ParkinPublished 2 years ago 9 min read
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In the forest, a crow said goodbye to his friend, the dove, and said he had to move.

The dove wondered, "Why do you have to move away?"

The crow replied, "The people here treat me so badly, they think I have a terrible cry and cover my ears when I meet them, I just can't stay anymore."

The dove paused for a moment and asked rhetorically.

"But have you ever thought about it? If you don't change your voice, you won't be welcomed anywhere you move."

When the crow heard this, he was speechless.

This is actually the famous "Law of the Crow".

When you can't do something, it's more important to look for yourself than to complain about others.

Everything from the outside to find the reason for people, not only can not change the status quo, but also does not help themselves.

Inward search, self-reflection, is the beginning of a person's maturity.

Thought-provoking "law of the crow": the real drag you down, is the victim mentality

The thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": what really brings you down is the victim mentality

Writer Zhang Xiaohang once lamented: the world of complaints, we are the plaintiff, but also the defendant.

Life in the world, will encounter large and small problems: life is not smooth, work is tricky, interpersonal relationships are complicated ... ...

People who always like to blame the outside world, it is easy to get themselves into endless complaints, can not see themselves, but also can not recognize the situation.

Liu Run teacher told a story.

There is a brewery, because the location is good, and the price is cheap.

Although the taste is somewhat poor, business was once still very prosperous.

Later, with the strong development of online shopping, beer from all over the country flowed into the local area.

The brewery's business was also affected and shrunk abruptly.

As a result, the owner of the brewery just went around complaining to people every day, either saying that the e-commerce platform had stolen his business, or crying about his bad luck.

But he never thought about how to improve the quality of his own beer and change his situation from beginning to end.

Within a few years, his brewery was forced to shut down because of the poor efficiency.

Have you ever noticed that there is a "seed of darkness" in everyone's nature: blame shifting?

If you do not always beware of it, it is easy to fall into the circle of blame.

It is not uncommon to see similar situations around you.

Life is not as good as it should be, blame the parents after the origin, but never asked themselves enough to work hard.

When you see someone else get a promotion, you complain about your lack of talent, and when the job really comes, you start to push it.

Obviously love to chew behind the back, the export is hurt, but blame colleagues group isolated themselves.

Psychology has a mentality called "victim mode".

People with this mindset, at any time, anyone, anything, will unconsciously see themselves as a victim.

They will put themselves in a very weak, helpless, lonely situation, always feel that the outside world should be responsible for their own misfortune.

Once accustomed to this mentality, people will easily fall into a sad negative cycle:

The more unfortunate they feel, the more they love to attribute to the outside world, rather than reflecting on themselves.

Over time, they completely lose the possibility of solving problems and saving themselves and their ability to act.

A particularly pertinent quote by Gu Long in "The Great Man" reads.

"Whoever does this should learn to blame himself first before he can blame others.

Otherwise it means that he is nothing but a little child who has not yet grown up."

He who blames God has no will, and he who blames others has a poor heart.

Always blame God, is an escape from their own responsibility, but also a kind of inaction in advance of giving up.

Thought-provoking "law of the crow": the real drag you down, is the victim mentality

The thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": the real drag you down, is the victim mentality

Previously, a psychology guru went to Miwei to share.

In the sharing, he divided human values into two categories: one is called weak values and the other is called strong values.

The biggest difference between the two is that when it comes to things the former loves to ask: why?

The latter is used to asking themselves: Why?

In other words, people with weak values love to attribute things to the outside, and constantly consume their energy in complaining.

People with strong values, on the other hand, are used to looking inward, constantly reflecting, analyzing, facing, changing, and eventually solving problems.

Writer Mr. Kim Wee-chun, once wrote in his book "There is only one thing in life" that.

"There is only one shortcut in life, and that shortcut is to admit your mistakes."

This sentiment actually comes from a rather painful experience he had in his early years.

At that time, he started his own business, Business Week, with a lot of enthusiasm.

Who would have thought that the magazine would suffer a serious crisis after just one year of operation?

He invested a lot of human and financial resources, but no one read the magazine, and the company could not make ends meet, so he had to keep borrowing and repaying debts.

I had the means, the talent, and the resources, but why couldn't I sell it?

In the external reasons after seeking a hundred times to no avail, Jin Weichuan began to turn inward to analyze their own problems.

In a year-end meeting, he launched a profound self-reflection in front of all the staff: "I want to do the magazine.

"I'm the one who wanted to make the magazine, I'm the one who recruited everyone to come, and I'm the one who failed to run it properly."

"It's my fault that we're doing nothing, it's my fault that I pretend to be great."

Little did I know that the magazine would come back from the dead the year after this "introspection meeting".

And since then, it has become the number one magazine in Taiwan.

Why is that?

Because the thought of "it's all my fault" made Jin Weichen start to keep his head down and do real things, and change his management style.

And his sincere introspection and down-to-earth attitude also influenced the editors under him.

We all began to reflect on their own "white snow" type of magazine mentality, and constantly improve their own style of articles and work mentality.

Later, recalling this experience, Mr. Jin concluded.

"Admitting mistakes is not an external matter, but an internal practice. After admitting it to the extreme, the energy of your life will be fully revealed."

Problems, a pretext for the weak to complain, are the cultivation field for the strong.

People who are truly mature can often face their own faults, recognize their own situation, learn from their failures, and turn their deficiencies into advantages.

Just like the formula mentioned by Rui Dalio in the book "Principles": pain + reflection = progress.

Behind all the pain of scraping and healing, there is a hidden potential for renewal.

Those reflective insights will become the road to your future advancement.

The thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": what really brings you down is the victim mentality

The thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": what really brings you down is the victim mentality

In the movie "The Devil Wears Prada", there is a plot that makes people feel very emotional.

The female lead Andy a fashion magazine as an assistant.

She felt busy and lack of value from her odd jobs, and her unpredictable bosses made her fearful all day long.

During that time, she was either complaining to her colleagues or crying with her boyfriend every day, feeling that life had lost its color.

Later, it was her predecessor's words that woke her up: "You think you're doing your best, but in fact you're just coping and complaining."

Andy then realized that the root of all the previous dissatisfaction was in herself.

So she decided to change herself, she began to take seriously every little thing her boss told her to do, to arrange every schedule for her.

She started to improve her dressing and body shape, learn the latest trendy design, and desperately try to catch up on her industry knowledge.

Slowly, her work got on track, and her complaints were swept away.

Mr. Vanden once said.

"Prisoners of thinking are fond of complaining and hating, feeling that no method can change the status quo.

But you have to remember that you have room for change, and others also have room for change.

When you value the potential of yourself and others, you are likely to find the resilience to get out of the prison of thinking."

Life doesn't go as well as it should.

When you feel that life is not going well everywhere, it is also the time when you should make changes.

Here are two suggestions to help you improve the resilience of your thinking and get out of the circle of complaints.

The thought-provoking "law of the crow": the real drag you down, is the victim mentality

1, change your mindset, often self-reflection

Writer Liu Tong said:

"If you feel that life has done mischief to you, maybe this is a good opportunity for you to stop and reflect on yourself."

Many things in life, from others to find the reason, a look on the crazy, from their own to find the reason, a look on the pass.

A bad job may be a problem with your own attitude and approach to work.

children do not perform well at school, perhaps you are too busy recently neglected to accompany.

If you have problems with your partner, you may have failed to communicate with him in some details.

Try to change your mindset from "victim mode" to "responsible mode", is the first step out of the circle of complaints.

2、Change the thinking, first action

Carol Dweck, in "Lifelong Growth", proposed two kinds of thinking: fixed thinking and growth-oriented thinking.

People who can only complain, his thinking pattern is "fixed thinking": the face of the problem, just blame the responsibility.

When faced with a problem, he simply passes the buck and is passive.

People who have a "growth mindset" will try to change themselves and actively solve problems.

The last time you hit a wall, you have learned a lesson, so you won't hit it again.

If you did something wrong before, you will not do it again if you have reflected on it this time.

When you change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset, you also have the ability to renew yourself.

The thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": what really brings you down is the victim mentality

The thought-provoking "Law of the Crow": what really brings you down is the victim mentality

Zeng Guofan once said, "Where great things are accomplished, the human plan is half, the will of God is half."

In this world, no one can change the trajectory of the world, and no one can peek at the truth of fate.

All we can do is to adjust ourselves and grasp the human plan.

When things are not going well, instead of complaining about God, we should reflect on ourselves.

When things don't go well, instead of complaining about the environment, we should light a lamp for ourselves.

The growth of life begins with self-awakening; the progress of life lies in self-change.

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