Thirteen Moms will get a visit today

Today, Moms across America are going about their Friday morning routines oblivious that soon, thirteen of them will receive a knock at their door. Some are at their place of employment. Others may be at their children's school, or grocery shopping, or at their home. At some point this morning, thirteen Moms' lives will be forever changed. There are also thirteen two-man teams of Marines preparing to meet these Moms. They are putting on their dress blue uniforms and making sure that everything is immaculate. Their ribbons and medals are in line, their shoes polished to a brilliant shine, and their gig lines straight and sharp. These Marines are also practicing what they will tell these Moms.

They enter their government vehicles and make the drive to where the Moms are unknowingly waiting. They exit their vehicles, check their uniforms one last time, clear their throats, and ensure they have brilliantly white, clean handkerchiefs in their pockets. They make the walk to the front door and in a professional, military manner, they knock loudly. Many of these Marines have done this before, too many times before. They can predict the look of realization before they even open their mouths. It doesn't change things though. The Moms will have lost a son or daughter, but the Marines will have lost a brother or sister and they will cry and mourn together.

The door opens and there's the initial startled look followed by the customary greeting, "Can I help you?", followed by the look of slow recognition of what is about to happen. One of the Marines will introduce both of them and ask if they can come inside to talk about an important matter in private. The Mom will move aside slowly and invite them inside. As soon as they enter, she will ask what this is about and the senior Marine will say, "Ma'am, we regret to inform you that your child was killed during an attack on the HKIA airport in Afghanistan. Your child's remains are currently en route to Dover Air Force Base and we would like to escort you there when you are ready to travel."

This is followed by grieving and questions and more grieving. The Marines are trained to assist with this process and will provide her with as much information as they can, but it's never enough. It won't ever be enough. That Mom always knew in the back of her mind this might happen, but she reassured herself, it won't happen to her child. She was never completely comfortable with her child joining the Marines, but she succumbed to their wishes and desires and supported their decision when they signed up.

Moms are strong and they are resilient. Some Moms may faint or become irreconcilable, but most will make themselves busy as they process. The Marines will stay with her as long as they are needed and they will make sure she has anything she wants or needs. When they depart, they will give her their personal cellphone numbers and ask her to call them any time of the day or night to talk. This isn't just lip service. The Marines take care of family and another group of Moms has joined the Gold Star family. Normally, arrangements will have already been made to fly the Mom and a companion to Dover to meet the arrival of their loved one. But Moms will have a strong urge to be nearer to their child sooner than later, so those plans can and will be changed to accommodate her wants and needs.

When she arrives at Dover Air Force Base, she will be greeted by the Marines and other Gold Star Families who have been trained to facilitate her grieving. The reunion will occur and the reality will finally hit her. Her child is home forever, but her child will be forever interred. This is when the real work begins. Funeral arrangements are finalized and an introduction between the family and the Marines who served with her child are made. Normally, the Marines that were closest to her child will have accompanied the remains to Dover. There will be many more questions, crying, hugging and soon afterward, the funeral will occur.

The precision with which this will occur is astounding because it has been done too many times in our country's history. When the funeral ends, the Mom is left with a folded flag, the gratitude of a thankful nation, and maybe a medal or two that was awarded posthumously. The Marines that served with her child will depart back to their units who are most likely still in harm's way and the Mom and her family will return home.

Thirteen Moms will find out their child has died today in a war that our country has battled for almost twenty years. Most if not all of these Marines who passed this week due to the cowardly actions of a suicide bomber at HIKA Airport, were not alive when the war began. Over the past two decades, we have paid a high price because of this war, but it was not in vain. These Marines, in particular, were sent to that airport for one mission, to save the lives of American citizens and those Afghani citizens who helped us during the war. These thirteen Marines were there to provide safety while the evacuations ran their course. They gave their lives doing so and for that, they'll always be remembered.

When you go about your routine over the coming days, try to tune out the rhetoric, especially the politics and finger-pointing. No one could have predicted or prevented the bombing. Instead, focus on the Moms whose lives have been changed forever. They are the ones who bear the brunt of this war. They are the ones we should remember.