Things That I Learned About Guys

Two years after the break up, that devastating break up with a guy that I thought I loved him with everything I had to offer, I changed a lot over the course of two years.

I changed from a naive, optimistic person with hopes of being married and having a family to a broken, barren piece of work with crushed dreams.

Let me tell you something. If you get married in your 20's, you're lucky! Because men like young naive girls to be controlled. If you're in your 30's, you better get married, or try to pop children or else you will end up like many who are in their 40's... with regret, anger and resentment over the "what if" and bad choices, don't forget the bad streaks of bad luck on top of that.

But there's lessons to be taken with a grain of salt on dating, love, sex and relationships. Understanding men, shouldn't be that difficult or impossible depending on what your intentions are. If you're looking for a husband, that's good, if you're looking for a meal ticket, well, that's dirty business. But what I learn is just one simple thing: Men had good intentions until a woman (a damaged, vengeful, immature) comes into their lives and ruins his expectations, drive and ambitions. And sadly, good women who had a horrible streak on love and relationships has to pick of their slack with disastrous results.

Take these words simply, what I learned about relationships is this:

If you meet your high school or college sweetheart and your parents are against it, fight it with all your might. Could be the beginning of a fascinating love story full of young love, and all that bliss that comes along with. If you're in your 20's and your parents are controlling the way you have to live your life, take that boat if you feel it's right between you and your significant other!

I didn't have that luck when my domineering mother sabotaged our plans to get married. I was engaged at that time, in my 20's. She wanted me to finish my college education, all while she didn't like the guy, instead of getting married to the States and continue study there. He later called it quits. A year later after the break-up, he explained he was pressured by my mother to end the relationship. After that, I was 5 years single and it was the worst 5 years I ever had. I finished College but I was miserable and unemployed.

By your 30's, choose your right man carefully. Avoid meeting players at a nearby bar, or have encounters. Because it will leave you devastated emotionally and mentally. They just want to play and leave. They don't have nothing to give you, except their attention for a few hours. Then, they forget you, and go back to their boring routine. Back to their significant others or their wives.

If you meet a man and he is interested in you, make sure He is legit. Have their own thing, be financially stable and have their own transportation more importantly, to not have secrets. During the beginning of the online dating era in early 2000's, I met a guy, and I thought he was very interested in getting to know me. He told me that he had a job, but lives with his mother because he takes cares of her. Reality was that when I arrived to the Pacific Northwest to start being with him, the truth was out of the open. He was on SSI, not having a job and his car was an old beater. I left everything, my job, my apartment, my singleness hoping that I was going to be a little bit better, but instead it was hell for 12 years, where I was the main breadwinner and I paid for everything and it turned abusive in the last years because he was demanding, controlling and verbally abusive instead of making an effort to have a least a part time job. At the same time, I learned to be self-sufficient. I didn't ask him for anything instead he was asking for videogames, consoles or food. His bad habits turned into a morbly obese individual. When I left 3 years ago, I felt so happy and relieved escaping this abusive relationship. I was hoping for a happy beginning in my life because I'm aiming for that love story of my life.

At your 40's, if you're still having your hopes up for every disappointment, every dick pic popping out of your messaging on dating sites, every lewd reply or having a exiting first date to then being ghosted, you're not the only one. Most women had it worst. Consider the first story I posted and see why I'm on this predicament. Still, no ring on my finger, not having a experience of wearing a wedding dress, walking down the aisle in a nice church while my future husband is glaring at me with tears in his eyes. I'm really relunctant to that idea that I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. I still have that faith that someone will be appearing into my life. But the older you get, the more difficult it is to get into a meaninful relationship that can end into marriage. Because, honestly, guys doesn't want a broken model who at first, they break them, they need a newer model with no imperfections to give them a nice life. But I'm still faithful, I'm still hopeful, that someone will show up. Like many single women out there, we deserve to fall in love.