Things People Need To Stop Saying To Childless Couples and Women

Just because we're childless doesn't make us bad people!

Things People Need To Stop Saying To Childless Couples and Women

We live in a society that still, for some reason, despite the fact that it is 2017, only places real value on a woman or couple if they have children. As far as society is concerned, if, you don't have children, you're not quite complete yet. And don't get me wrong, kids are great, they're adorable and cute and I love how honest and blunt they are about everything, it's hilarious! But like millions of people all over the world, they're not for me, and this doesn't make me any less important as a woman, nor does it make my relationship with my wife any less legitimate. So if you say ANY of these things to childless couples or women, please, for our sake, stop it.

Is there a problem?

This is mostly only said to couples as single women get asked a totally different set of offensive questions. What gives you the right to ask whether someone is able to have a baby or not? How is it any of your business? Would you ask someone if they had trouble getting an erection? No. There might be no problem at all and they may be childless by choice, but if there is a problem, they might be very sensitive about it, so keep your nose out of their biology.

Why don't you want kids?

Again, this is none of your business, maybe they want to remain childless for financial reasons. Maybe they don't think that they would be good parents or maybe they are childless because they choose to be childless for their own personal, none of your business reasons. Nobody needs a reason not to want kids, nobody asks people why they do want to have kids, so don't ask people why they don't.

Don't you like kids?

Just because someone is childless, doesn't mean that they hate children! My wife and I are childless by choice and we both love kids, we think some of them are adorable little weirdos that put everything either in their mouth or on their heads. But, maybe they don't like kids. Kids are a lot to handle and if someone can't handle it or doesn't want to, that's up to them!

Maybe when the right man comes along?

Maybe, maybe not. This assumes two things: 1. That the desire to have children is there and 2. The desire to have the "right man" is there. Neither of those things applied to me, so they might not apply to whoever you are offending by saying that.

Doesn't your mother want grandkids?

My mother has a headache inducing nine grandchildren, and she was as happy when the ninth was born as she was when the first was. And I know she would love nothing more than for me to have a baby, but I also know she would not want me to have one for her sake. She would rather I were childless than had a baby for the wrong reasons, as most mothers would! Nobody should have a baby for the sake of someone else!

You'll change your mind.

Really? Predicting the future now are we? Maybe someone will change their mind and decide they do want children, and maybe they won't and they will remain happily childless for the rest of their days. They have no idea so you certainly don't!

A career won't look after you when you're old.

Your children might not look after you when you're old either. You don't know how things are going to turn out, and you shouldn't be having kids for this reason. There are plenty of childless older people that are perfectly well looked after, probably because they saved a lot of money by not having children!

You'll regret it when you're too old.

Maybe they will, but that doesn't really concern you does it? There are many childless older people and couples that don't regret remaining childless. They lived full lives and did so without having children.

People without children, no matter what their gender, are still as important as people with children. A childless woman is still a woman and a childless couple is still a legitimate couple. Stop trying to make people have children they don't want. It's not selfish to remain childless, it's selfish to have children for the wrong reasons.

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Claire Raymond

I have been a writer for 14 years now, I'll figure it out one day.

See all posts by Claire Raymond