Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self
Life lessons learned the hard way.
I know for most people, they experience it at least once in their lives, "If I could only tell myself then, what I know now." This is an interesting concept. I know that there are certainly life lessons that I learned along the way that I wish I could've warned myself about. Whether it has to do with love, adulthood, or just making things easier on myself. Below are some things I really wish I could go back and tell myself.
It's okay to be anxious and depressed. There's nothing wrong with you.
I know those are hard words to swallow. Everyone tells you not to be sad, not to be depressed. That's like telling someone they don't need to breathe anymore. It's wrong, and it's not possible. There are going to be days where you feel like you can't get out of bed. It's okay to be gentle with yourself on those days. It's okay to take a day for yourself every now and then. I know you often ask yourself "What is wrong with me? Why can't I be normal?" But the truth is, you are normal. There are so many people in the world battling the same demons as you. There is nothing "wrong" with you. The chemicals in your brain are a little off, and that's okay. You'll find your way soon. I know it sounds cliché, but it really will get better. I promise.
Sleeping with those guys to make them like you is not worth it.
Oh, younger me. I wish I could've told you this sooner. It would've saved you from so much heartbreak and from hating yourself at times. You never had to sleep with those stupid boys. They would've treated you the same either way (ie like garbage). It wasn't worth your time, trying to get them to like you. They were shallow slime balls. You are important, you are strong, you are smart, and you are worth it. It's okay to wait for the right guy. One day you'll meet him, and he'll make the wait worth it. Your future husband doesn't make you feel like trash just for saying you don't want to have sex. He respects you, listens to you, and values your feelings. Younger self, he is everything you ever dreamed of. You know what? You deserve him.
Don't be afraid to try something new.
Can you believe that in the future you'll fly on a plane, or like sushi? I know, I never would've believed it. Remember all those dreams you had of being so scared to fly you made the flight attendant let you off before the plane could take off? Well I'm here to tell you, you flew not once, but twice! I know how comfortable you are in your bubble, but let me tell you how truly amazing it can be to step out for a moment or two. I know we waited so long to try to get our very first job for fear of leaving the house and getting out there, but it opened a whole new world for us! It led to us meeting our husband and getting married. It led to moving out on our own. It led to so many wonderful experiences, including seeing the ocean for the first time. Please try new things. Try a new craft, try a new food, try writing again! It might just change your world.
I know you're hurt. You had two best friends and they left you behind. You're scared to put yourself out there for fear of getting hurt, and guess what? You might. But the benefits far out way the negatives. Imagine having someone who you can tell your secrets to, who can cheer you up when you're at your lowest, and be an unconditional constant in your life. Don't hold yourself back because you may get hurt, you have so much to offer, and you would be an excellent friend. Don't deny yourself happiness because of fear.
Don't be afraid to go on a second date with him.
I know, you're anxiety is high and the thought of getting close to someone is terrifying. Younger self, it will be the best thing you ever do. This man is truly magnificent and will help you become the best version of yourself. He believes in you, he supports you, and he works his ass off to provide a beautiful life for both of you. Trust me, you wont regret it.
As they say, hindsight is 20/20. It would be so much easier to go back and tell ourselves these things. However, at the same time, these experiences are what make us who we are. While painful at the time, we learn invaluable lessons. One of the biggest lessons that I've learned is that it's never to late to grant yourself some grace and to love yourself the way you wish you would've back then.