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The Way You Look at Death Can Completely Change the Way You Live Your Life

Are you afraid of dying?

By Jessica AngryskyPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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The Way You Look at Death Can Completely Change the Way You Live Your Life
Photo by davide ragusa on Unsplash

Woody Allen once said, "I'm not afraid of death, but I don't want to be there when it happens." And this feeling is not uncommon.

Many people have conditioned themselves to manage the reality of death in this way: not only are they afraid that they may die but they completely avoid the subject.

But by changing the way you think about death, your life will have a different meaning, one that will help you live the moment, says Koshin Paley Ellison, a Buddhist monk.

Here are five ways to look at death inspired by Buddhism that can completely change the way you live your life.

1. Life and death are parts of a whole

According to Zen tradition, life and death happen at every moment - inspiration is life and expiration is death. "Inspiration is the first thing we do when we come into the world, and the last thing we do when we leave this world is expiration," Koshin said.

Buddhists celebrate the life-and-death cycle as a whole.

2. You must not be ashamed of illness and death

"Aging and death are viewed with shame in our culture. As people get older, they feel that something bad is happening to them and that they are losing their value. "

For most people, illness and death are accompanied by feelings such as failure and shame. And this is also reflected in the language, the way people describe the disease (for example: "lost the battle with cancer").

According to Koshin, this shame can be a way to hide and avoid confrontation with reality - it helps to avoid difficult questions such as "How will I grow old?", "How long do I have to live?", "How will I manage the changes generated age on my body? ”.

3. A whole life is not one in which you are distracted or worried about the future

Koshin recounts how a monk he knows always wonders, "Am I awake?" to make sure he lives the moment. If you don't focus on the present moment, says Koshin, "we live in a kind of dream that is like death.

Being caught in dreams without the joy of activity is like dying. "

Being in the present - the essence of zen - can help you not only to live life to the fullest but also to accept death.

"Do not resist life and do not wait. That is the essence of what it means to live. Living in the present and not in an idea of ​​the present," - Koshin

4. Accept what cannot be changed and you will get rid of suffering

The Buddha claims that the inability of people to accept change is the main cause of suffering, and a recent study confirmed this. Researchers at Deakin University in Australia have found that the ability to accept things that cannot be changed is the main reason for living a fulfilling life.

Today's culture tends to remove death, to try to compartmentalize it, because it is something they fear. A woman who was dying told Koshin that she was struggling not with her inability to accept her condition but because of the people around her who felt uncomfortable with what was happening to her.

But the more intimate one becomes with death, the easier it is to accept it.

"We have to deal with fear. We can say, we are here, I am afraid but I can accept it ", says Koshin.

5. Death reveals the importance of love

After facing death, many people say that this is the first time they have ever understood what love really means - and that the relationships they have created then are the strongest things in their lives.

"When they were dying, they realized that life means loving the people in their lives and being loved by them.

Many of us run, run, run, accumulate, accumulate, accumulate and when we reach the end we realize that everything comes down to relationships and love. Then they learn how to love themselves and others," Koshin said.

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Jessica Angrysky

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