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The Symptom of Emotional Disconnection in the Couple or ‘Are You Still There for Me?’

by Mack Mays 5 months ago in advice
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The Epidemic of Infidelity.

The Symptom of Emotional Disconnection in the Couple or ‘Are You Still There for Me?’
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Infidelity has recently been seen as a symptom of emotional and physical disconnection in the couple. Love requires reassurance and touch.

Most conflicts in the couple are protests related to the detachment of partners and lack of communication. In this expression of frustration, the partners are desperate to know: Are you still there for me?

Monogamy is increasingly overshadowed by deprivation, where habitual familiarity and intimacy steal from the magic and butterflies of the relationship, and infidelity is seen as inevitable.

Infidelity has recently been seen as a symptom of emotional and physical disconnection in the couple. Love requires reassurance and touch.

Most conflicts in the couple are protests related to the detachment of partners and lack of communication. In this expression of frustration, the partners are desperate to know: Are you still there for me?

Infidelity - a symptom of detachment

It is said that we are driven by desires, by impulses, although if you pay attention to listen to couples talking, inevitably it comes to a time when they feel stuck, say they feel bored by their partner, say they no longer feel attracted to their partner, blockages in negative patterns and countless conflicts, that I no longer feel affection from my partner, that I don't know what to do in this situation, the feeling of helplessness - and suddenly the friendly secretary or colleague appears and says that you look a bit sad ) ... and suddenly he notices that that person has beautiful eyes, while my life partner is angry with me, we have quarrels, conflicts to resolve.

It inevitably begins to compare the state of tension at home with satisfaction in the specific environment. We are talking about personal gratification, not necessarily about desires.

It is impossible not to acknowledge that it involves vulnerability regarding privacy. The fear of exposure is universal and in no way specifies male or female.

Sometimes I wonder if society does not become immune to the phenomenon of infidelity and betrayal in romantic relationships. I hear things like, "Half of the marriages end in divorce anyway" or "Half of the people involved in relationships admit to cheating."

We reach desensitization and perhaps a pessimistic perception of romantic relationships by hearing these demoralizing "statistics" repeatedly. More than that, we consider that this is natural to happen.

Types of infidelity

Betrayal comes in many forms - it is not necessarily limited to sexual contact with a person who is not a stable partner. Includes one-night stands, strictly emotional connections (very questionable), constant flirtations, questionable relationships with ex-partners.

Infidelity fundamentally affects the person's sense of reality and confidence that has been betrayed, security, and self-image. The discovery of an affair is followed by anxiety, depression, difficulty eating and sleeping, cognitive problems, general functionality. The available effects are similar to Post Traumatic Syndrome on a small scale.

A kind of one-night stand culture

More and more adults are engaged in well-defined, occasional, casual, sex-based relationships. I wonder what the emotional consequences of this kind of relationship are?

The popular representations in the media, so sexually exposed, lead us to a desensitization of the value of privacy. Nudity becomes so accessible in books, commercials, sex sells, lyrics of summer songs, all of which promote permissive sexuality.

Relationships based on occasion, short meetings without an emotional connection, lack of intimacy have gained ground in the last decades in front of the court and the whole process of building a romantic relationship.

Is there still fidelity and loyalty?

Modern life puts us in front of various ways of betraying our partner: texting, direct or clear messages, love affairs. It certainly seems that monogamy is on the verge of extinction.

We have extensive flirtations, more or less innocent, seemingly platonic lunch meetings with people we don't share with our life partners, and many actions that are somehow on the verge of fidelity as if relationships at home are being tested.

Ask around, and you'll see. I asked about these gray areas as the relationships around us, apart from the stable connection; I wondered what qualifies as flirting and exceeds the limit.

Logic suggests the highest degree of infidelity so far in the face of the many opportunities and easy ways to connect. We work and travel more, which means we are often far from home and partner.

The ever-evolving technology environment helps us connect obsessively and continuously with many more people.

This means that the simple definition of fidelity must be extended. In this way, we encounter growing emotional infidelities, online adventures; Intense relationships with tremendous confusion about the boundaries of friendship that happen online, and flourish in this environment.

And yet we are attentive and attached to this idea of monogamy. We are built with this need for contact and emotional intimacy. That underlies the theory of attachment in psychology.

We have so much research and scientific evidence that the need for secure attachment never goes away; it develops in adulthood in the form of a need for secure attachment with a life partner, and therefore according to studies, monogamous couples tend to reach a level of happiness, higher balance than couples in which monogamy is in the gray area or in which it is not very clearly required.

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Mack Mays

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