The Story.

I can choose to share love with whomever, whenever, however, and be a human full of good deeds!

My first big accomplishment as a sober young lady started with when I wrote 40ish encouraging letters to all the people I was in Treatment with, by sitting by the mailboxes and reading their names (since I tend to forget those), and one by one writing away. That was honestly one of the funnest and soul-satisfying experiences I have ever had. It felt like the blink of an eye, sitting on that lounger and thinking intently into what I observed each individual needed to hear, or motivation. I used my birds-eye view to discern what each person needed to hear, and it has started me on a journey to letter writing. I will actually sit in my comfy chair and quiet space, while brainstorming ways to help people. So far I have come up with ideas like this that are beneficial and engaging, as well as buying and handcrafting gifts for people at random times. The number of people who have came up to me after receiving a letter from me, with tears welt up in their eyes, and most tell me about the same thing: "Handcrafting a letter for me was the LAST thing I expected someone to do, but you have motivated me by it!"

What better feeling than that, knowing you, like, ACTUALLY helped someone!

Back in the day, I was just a typical kid, doing my thing, as a young part African, Spanish, and English woman! But I was judged at basically all-angles because of this, sadly! But, not really sad, because I have always been upright in heart and that's never stopped me from choosing to be a kind human, and shooting to always do that, no matter how hard it is or how right I "think" I am. No matter the crap social media screams at my mind day and night, no matter what. I mean, shoot, the internet barely existed 25 years ago! Honestly, just writing that last sentence down brings into my mind a different perspective about life. Why do me and all my friends spend our lives on the internet doing nothing much of productivity? Why don't we use the internet like as an outlet for good deeds, start organizations and fight for what we say we actually believe in? That sounds WAY better to me than 6 hours of wasting my life away scrolling or watching random videos, which is why I I now have a set amount of time, daily, that I allow myself to "distract" and do whatever I feel like online. I love to use the internet as a tool to reach people in any creative way I can. That is why I LOVE the idea behind this challenge, it engaged my mind to see the other side of mindlessness: acts of love/good deeds.

My brother, the amazing brother whom has loved me when no one loved me, and one of the only people to never let me down, has some SERIOUS good deeds behind his belt. My amazing brother is an outstanding citizen, and I am taking this time to show you why. This man has gave carpet to decorate an entire house of my friends at last notice for FREE, and he never even introduced himself to them! He literally just dropped off a whole houses worth of carpet without giving anyone a forewarning! The result of this selfless act: My friend stopped partying suddenly and realized all of the selfish mistakes he had made. He couldn't stop saying how, "nobody has ever just GIVEN him anything for free, and how he grew up in a highly abusive/manipulative environment, and this was the coolest thing someone had done for him."

This same brother also has painted full churches for free, babysat others kids for free, worked for free, and has always given away absolutely anything you can think of, including giving time to people, with no expectations and at no charge. We once lived in a beautiful house on the river together, and he met a family of 4 at a gas station... They all became friends quickly, and then mutually decided they would move into the entire separate part of the house that had been built a while back. And they did, but not after this happened. My brother spent around 58 hours COMPLETELY gutting out the place, and decorating it. But it was not an easy task: Rain, snow, and weather had destroyed most of it for several months years back after a family moved out, and no one lived anywhere in that house, while traveling for several months. And windows that could be considered more or less "hidden," had been accidentally left open! Everything needed to be remodeled. Any who. So, the task was daunting, to say the very least. And of course you know that he did not ask for any reimbursement fees, he just did what he is good at: sharing. By the way, he taught me how to share, literally, by taking me to the Dollar Tree and buying me things over the years. "Sharing is caring," is what he says, "whatever sharing means to you." He has risked his life to actually save me from my ridiculous self, by driving thousand of miles to wherever his sad, confused, hurt, but still hopeful, drug addicted little sis was. At times my mind and my heart couldn't connect, and I was at the mercy of whatever random situation I found myself in, as is life, sometimes. He was the glue that kept this person writing to you here alive, until Treatment, no doubt at all. Its humans like this that I believe give us all something to be inspired by to do better, because if someone barely getting by in life with almost nothing to their name, and not much physical assets by ANY means, can do that, then why can't I strive for the most?

Someone to CHOOSE to have a good heart despite the chaos, to choose to share with the world he was born into, as if everyone is some sort of huge giant family. The list could go on for a very long time.

What I am about to tell you, is very personal, very intimate, and very close to my "achy breaky heart." The man that I am with today, the father of my son, was not always the father of my son. Before I became pregnant, suddenly, with ZERO expectation, I was a drug addicted individual. I had no goals I could ever achieve, because maintaining my sanity was my numero uno goal. My mom committed suicide, suddenly, with no warning when I was eight years old, 12 months later my dad should have died, but instead survived with a head trauma that prevents him from working a job again in a car accident. So, life has never been easy for me, and nothing has been perfect for me, but I am grateful because of what I have in front of me, daily. I met the father of my son when I was about a month pregnant. The man who got me pregnant did not give me a forewarning, so, being a drug addict, you can imagine my mindset was not very clear. He went to Prison for 8 years recently, but thankfully, somehow, somewhere up in the sky, an angel decided to let me be FREE, for the first time. THIS MAN has taken on a responsibility that was absolutely not expected...and he has done it perfectly (almost). He has provided the finances for me and my son, more than ANYONE could have, because I had never met a true man before him.For the first time in my life, since being with the man of my dreams, I have job directions I am currently headed, and I have stopped looking out my rear-view mirror. HIS good deeds outshine most I have EVER encountered.... LOVE, loving a woman like me, a previous hooker, addict, with love like this has changed my life, and the people around me are SO much happier!

Something I love to do is to go to the Dollar Tree and spend however much money on items I think people need or want, and I go throughout my day and give them away whenever I feel that need to in my heart, and, honestly not much could make me happier. When I have been doing this, I have been given the HUGEST hugs from strangers, People have cried and walked away with a motivated persona... The act of SHARING is so essential to humanity I never want to forget that! The one thing I know for sure is this: COVID-19 sucks, but if it weren't for COVID-19, I am not sure I would be as close to my inner circle of family/friends that I am today, since we have all been cooped up indoors!

I gave my new, unworn shirt from Target, that I bought one day while shopping in Treatment on a shopping trip, to my enemy because I felt the urgency to show love to my enemy, because I did not see her the same way she saw me, and I HATE conflict.

"Hey, Jackie?"

Jackie looked over at me with a disgusted look on her face.

"Hey I just wanted to give you this."

She looked completely, 100% absolutely, no doubt at all, utterly SHOCKED.

I walked away, and that was that. From that point forward, the tension eased in Treatment.

I love how people have the free ability to make rational and creative decisions, I think its amazing honestly. "We know that consciousness exists not through experiments but through our immediate awareness of our feelings and experiences." - Philip Goff, Durham University. I think of that quote in regards to the ability of having consciousness to make the choice to perform a good deed, however your mind thinks a good deed should be. Since we all have a different experience and life perspective, I take it VERY seriously when it comes to the birds-eye view one could have of my life, like a reality TV show with the ability to read my thoughts. And I try to take my life seriously, like James Bond when he is on a mission, totally FOCUSED, DETERMINED, and ready to GO!

I got a FULL rack of ribs given to me from someone I had hard feelings towards who I lived with once after having a disagreement. I knew I didn't want to be anyone's enemy, so throughout this disagreement I had to bite my wild tongue from saying anything awful, and by doing that it had its rewards! That simple act of goodness encouraged me to be a better person. Another person gave me food to show they cared about me around this same time, when I believed they did not like me anymore as a person. I saw a strange and cool connection there, between making home cooked food for someone else, "its cool to enjoy the labor that someone did for you by their own hands," I said to myself after that

To end this all, I hope everyone moves forward victorious in their good deeds!