The Soulmate Myth
You are worthy of being loved by more than one person
You do not have a soulmate.
There is not only one person 'out there' who can love you truly, and fully, and in the way you deserve.
There just isn't.
You are a wondrous, beautiful, complex being, with a variety of interests, thoughts, and emotions. And there are seven and a half billion people on this planet of ours. The notion that that there is only one person on Earth who might be excited by the multi-faceted marvel that is you is ludicrous.
You are far, far better than that.
There are an untold number of men and women who will find your true, unfiltered, unvarnished, raw soul bewitchingly enchanting.
Granted - some people will just 'get' you more than others. And, yes, a lot of people simply won’t like you. To them you'll be no more than an unsolvable, unlikable mystery - say 'goodbye' to them and move on. Besides, you probably won't like them much either - it's no loss.
But more than one person will like you.
More than one person is capable is 'connecting' with you on a profoundly deep level.
More than one person already probably has.
Most of us have had more than relationship. Ergo – more than one person has already thought fondly of you. And, the chances are, you felt something deep and special towards more than one of these people. I know I have.
Not counting my teenage dalliances in the ocean of 'romance', I have had three serious relationships in my life.
The first of these took place at university; I was engulfed in a true love that would last forever.
A few years later, during a very grim period of my life, when I had to forgo the joys of living in London, and move back to the parental home, love comes knocking at my door again; this is it, I cried!
A year later, I met the beautiful person who would become my wife, and mother to my two daughters. She's still a beautiful person, just not my wife anymore.
Again, it's a 'no.'
However, although every relationship ended, the depth of emotion I felt towards each partner showed me that I was capable of loving more than one person.
And being loved by more than one person in return.
When I was with each of them, I didn’t want to be with anyone else – my affection for them, and theirs for me, was absolute whilst we were together, and at that time.
And those are the key words – ‘at that time.’
You can be with the right person at the right time but, as personalities, and circumstances shift and change, they cease to be so. I know many who have the opposite experience – they’ve found that one unchanging life partner, that person who grows and changes at the same pace they do. If that's you, then I'm nothing but genuinely pleased for you. I couldn't be happier.
It's simply not been my life experience, that's all.
I've never had one soul-mate. Instead I've had three wonderful partners who I've loved dearly. And, although 'luck' or 'fate' may have played a part in our initial meetings, the universe didn't tear us asunder. It wasn't cosmic intervention that hastened the end of any of those unions. It was human failings.
I hope my fourth partner will enter my life soon. And, if they do, I'll shall do everything in my power to make that relationship work, and show them how much they matter to me.
But, if that doesn't work out, then I'll grieve, heal, and go again.
Because I am a wondrous, beautiful, complex being, with a variety of interests, thoughts, and emotions. And there are seven and a half billion people on this planet of ours.
And the notion that that there is only one person - only my 'soulmate' - who might be excited by the multi-faceted marvel that is me, that there is only one person who will find my true, unfiltered, unvarnished, raw soul enchantingly bewitching, is one I refuse to accept.
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