The Small Things

As the virus took hold of us all, the world stood still, glued to our television sets. Watching in horror as this “thing” this invisible enemy began to blanket our world. In the beginning it felt like a dream… something that was just being said or thought. Not real. Soon it began to feel personal, more so for many, and for others, it was something we knew of but had not yet really been touched by.

The words “shelter in place”, “lockdown”, “quarantine”, and “unprecedented” became household verbiage.

When we were first told to stay home unless absolutely necessary, I took it as an opportunity. A chance to focus on myself and my own goals. I would finally write that best selling novel, I would dust off that treadmill and get into shape, I would focus on my marriage more, and really get to know my teenagers.

However, after a week of quarantine, that feeling of excitement had been replace with one of cabin fever. I enjoyed my home immensely, but now, being told I could not leave left me longing for the beach, a plane ride to a distant land, a dinner at my favorite restaurant, the company of friends, and family.

As the weeks passed, I created new routines. I would force myself up in the mornings and spend an hour walking nowhere on my treadmill, I would sip a cup of coffee staring at a blank computer screen waiting for inspiration to hit, I would blare music in an effort to get myself out of a slump. I had begun to order my groceries and have them delivered. This was now my new normal.

The days had begun to feel dark and lonely, despite being surrounded by my children and husband. I no longer felt as though I had just hit a wall with my writing, but rather that my entire writing career had been shoved into a bus, run off a cliff, went over a waterfall, and was lost somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. There was a sudden onset of panic and feeling of complete despair that I could not shake. My once optimistic personality had been replaced with one of anxiety and fears that this “new normal” would never transform into something I could once again thrive in.

A month had felt like an eternity. I remember one evening, thinking there were a few groceries I needed. I sat down at my computer and got onto the site for my local grocery store. It didn’t take long and the order was placed. It would be delivered in the morning. Having the groceries delivered in the morning often gave me a purpose to pull myself out of bed.

The next morning, I sat at my kitchen table and waited for the sound of bags being left at my doorstep. It wasn’t long before I heard the rustling of bags. I waited a minute to allow the driver to leave so that there was no contact. My once extroverted personality had been replaced with that of an old hermit.

Once I knew she had left, I cautiously opened my door and began moving the bags inside. As I was gathering them something caught my eye. A small heart shaped note was taped to a bag. It simply read “The situation will be over soon!! KEEP POSITIVE and STAY SAFE !!” signed Valentina.

My sweet shopper had no clue the emotional struggles I was going through or how much I needed that personal touch. I immediately began sobbing. This small act of kindness, shown to me by a complete stranger, touched my heart in such a way that she will never know.

I wished I could have run out to her and embraced her. I wished I could have told her how much it meant to me to read her note. For the first time in over a month I didn’t feel so alone. We were constantly hearing the words “we are in this together” yet somehow, we were all feeling completely alone. I put that note on my refrigerator as a reminder.

That day a spark in me was relit. I stepped on my porched and looked down the road at my quiet neighborhood. Each family keeping safe in those homes was going through the same things I was.

That day I began writing again. I went for a walk around my block. I chose not to feel so alone. It wasn’t because I had woken up and had some epiphany about my life. It was this small act of kindness from a stranger that snapped me out of my own self pity and reminded me that this wasn’t forever. This wasn’t my sole burden to bear. We are all in this together, no matter how lonely it may feel, we just have to stay positive.

I still, have not found the woman who wrote that note, but every time I go to the grocery store, I look for her. Someday I will thank her for reminding me that I am not alone.

It is the little things we do that can have the biggest impact on a person’s life. Like a note, taped to a bag of groceries.

Thank you, Valentina.