The Reasons Why Some People Refuse to Get Involved in a Relationship

Have you ever met someone you liked very much, with whom you got along perfectly, but who, when things should have evolved, turned out to have an excessive fear of relationships?

Some individuals simply cannot get involved with seriousness and dedication, with whom you can stay for a while, but who, when you ask them "where things are going between us", take it in stride as if you had an automatic rifle. in hand!

If it's not your fault - and most of the time, it's not your problem - then where does this fear of relationships come from? First of all, this lack of involvement and the desire not to have a stable relationship can come from a pain that has not yet healed in the past: these people have loved with passion and have been abandoned!

And for some, when love is denied, it destroys their trust in other people of the opposite sex! Lack of trust makes them prefer to retire when a relationship seems to become serious in the face of the risk of suffering again!

When they feel that they are beginning to have deeper feelings for someone, they prefer to run away! Although it often doesn't seem like it, these are people with a negative self-image - who think that the other person will always find reasons to leave them, so they always take the first step!

It does not seem so because sometimes they mask their lack of confidence in themselves and others in an exacerbated narcissism and in an attitude that seems extremely arrogant and full of self! But beneath them remained that person from the past who loved and was forsaken!

Then they promised themselves that they would never let anyone hurt them again, they built a whole shield against their feelings, and they made sure that they were the ones who left.

A person who is afraid of relationships will always withdraw when the first signs of the next step in the couple appear: when the partner starts talking about the future, when he spends too much time at home with him/her, when he makes any allusion to the word more horrible: marriage!

These types of people are often envied by those around them - who can rarely get past the well-built shield: they are sometimes those women or men who are successful in their careers, who seem to have anything and anyone and who seem so strong. and confident. But the reality is so far from apparent…

Where else can the fear of relationships come from? Also from the past - this time from childhood. People who grew up in a broken family, in which the partners quarreled excessively and brutally, after which they separated, face the fear - conscious or not - of not repeating the parents' scenario themselves.

If a child often witnesses aggressive scenes between his parents, after which the family falls apart completely, he will grow up with a negative image of the relationship between the sexes and especially of the family. Some so many young women say, "Did I get married to beat my mother?" or young men who say "to sit at my house, and then she will sleep with her neighbor" ?! These individuals do not realize that they are different from their parents and that they will not be "cursed" to rebuild their lives. But the negative image of marriage is deeply ingrained.

Moreover, these people also face a fear of conflict and an open fear of confrontation: as the possibility of an argument is announced, they prefer to withdraw! This is why they often prefer - out of a fear of "inherited" relationships - to be alone or to have superficial relationships than to have a conflicted couple relationship. Rather than face an argument - and in any couple, after all, the partners also quarrel - they prefer to leave the couple as soon as possible.

Third, and more simply, the fear of relationships - usually with young men - can come from a general fear of change! They consider that they have a perfect life as it is: the promising beginning of professional life, many good friends, more or less serious sexual adventures, but without responsibilities and involvement!

What more could he want ?! This young man notices how, after an age (around 25 years old), close friends get involved in stable relationships or even form a family. They also notice the changes of those involved - changes that seem tragic to them! That's why there's a joke - which isn't a joke - that when a young man gets engaged, his friends sing "Another one bites the dust"! So, many times, young people do not face unhealed wounds or disastrous family history - they simply want to stay young and carefree for a while!

What can you do if you meet someone afraid of relationships? Well, first of all, if the situation matches the last one presented, absolutely nothing - the young man who is not ready to get involved in a stable relationship is not convinced by one, by two!

So in such situations, the wisest thing would be to give up - you will not have much chance to "tame" a young stallion who wants to have fun unless he falls in love with you - and even then you will encounter difficulties!

But if you suspect that the fear of relationships comes from older wounds and that she is not fully aware, you have a choice, depending on how determined you are to win! Do you like this person so much and are you so sure you want a relationship with him/her? Then, you have to adopt a strategy that requires a lot of patience: don't scare him/her, don't rush things, and always be "casual".

When you notice the first signs that she is scared and that she is getting ready to go healthy, tell her that you don't want too much involvement at this stage and that you just like her company! Tell her that you are not asking for any changes or total involvement, but that you want to keep seeing each other!

So, with patience, you will slowly get closer to him/her and in time he/she will gain your self-confidence and attachment! There is no other way, you have to get under his skin without scaring him/her and be patient until you get to need it!

If you have chosen this difficult path, be careful - the fear of relationships explodes when you hear certain words, so beware of them: relationship, future, family, engagement, involvement. Sometimes even the excessive use of the word "we" can get him/her out of the watermelon - he/she starts to think that he/she is not "us", but he/she!

So, it is a difficult task to cure someone of this fear and it makes no sense if you are not sure that there is something between you and that there may be something more in the future! Such patience, tact, and self-sacrifice - necessary to accomplish this task - are hard to find in a person!