Once very recently, I was hiking with my two dogs, Stirling and Thistle, in the mountains of North Carolina. As we traveled along, seeing many beautiful sights. from rock formations and powerful waterfalls to wonderous valleys viewed from splendorous mountains, we happened upon a rock bridge that appeared to be natural, but was indeed man-made, but blended in very well with the surrounding area.
As we walked up to the bridge, I thought about the way whoever made it tried to use natural materials to blend in with the surrounding area. The rocks on the outside edge to hold it together, the rail which looks like fencing, the rocks under it-to allow water flow-along with the grass sod and stepping stones on the top.
It reminded me of things we see every day which may blend in or seem normal for the surroundings, upon first sight, but then upon deeper investigation, things are not what they seem.
For instance, someone who may seem loving and caring and attentive upon first meeting, later on may start to show their true uncaring, inattentive and distant colours. I am living such a paradox, my husband, who became highly upset upon hearing the way my ex-husband treated me with his emotional abuse over my oldest son, now immerses himself into his online games, leaving me to run the house on my own, in silence. I suppose I should be glad he isn’t out at the pubs, drinking and picking up women and such, or doing drugs, but what he is doing was just as bad, hurt just as much.
We both work, we are self-employed as Rideshare drivers, but then he comes home, is on the computer playing games and watching questionable videos for over eight hours a day, then watches videos of others playing their games. That leaves me to do all the household chores: dishes, laundry, sweeping, vacuuming, cooking, etc. I still try to find time to write any of my seven projects, get the playlist ready and documented for my weekly radio show (Anna’s Celtic Ceilidh) on Fridays on mkbindependentradio.com, get things ready for my Sunday “Story Time with Lady Anna” streaming show, and still take care of my dogs, walking, brushing, feeding, bathing and playtime.
He claims he hates it in the United States and wants to go home to England. I have shown him an easy way to make some extra money while doing no extra work, and yet he will not do it. To top it off, while he chastised my ex-husband for not supporting me in following my dream, he has actually done the same and worse. Not only does he not support me in following my creative dream, when I started going to filmmaking meetings, he accused me of cheating on him, simply because the meetings are held in the basement dining area of a pub. ‘How does it look, a woman alone in a pub?’ he’d say. So I invited him to go with me, he was bored to tears, but he did see that I was indeed not alone, there were at least 50 other people there, more than half were women.
I suppose I should be grateful he shows care for me or at least in my safety, but to not have someone say ‘good job’ or ‘well done’ when one of my short stories gets produced, that just hurts. After the childhood I had, my guardian burning my creative writings: 4 years’ worth of poetry journals from my teen years and at least 5 produced scripts, all because she viewed using your imagination for creative writing as a form of lying. When I finally told him of that event, he was shocked, to say the least. He doesn’t prevent me from going to the meetings or doing things to follow my dream, but he doesn’t say anything positive, especially when one has gone to the Sundance International Film Festival for Twenty-Twenty. I’m still waiting to hear if it’s been accepted, as that will be intense exposure.
At this point I should actually say thank you to Greywinds Productions, LLC, as it was the April writing prompt that I wrote the story from, turned into the short film script, worked to get produced and submitted to Sundance.
On the matter of someone not showing their true colours from the start, that scenario can be applied to the group I worked with to get the short film produced. The production manager turned out to be very jealous of my writing ability, organizational skills and my ability to jump in last moment for the second half of filming and get it produced more efficiently than she did the first half of it. She actually tried to steal the film and use it for her own purposes, to promote her group, when she really didn’t do anything to help get it done.
When I attended the meeting in May, the group accepted my script and wanted to do it first, that was great, we scheduled to get it done in the month of May. Then the production manager and the cameraman went out of town for six weeks and five weeks respectively. So I took it upon myself to gather all the props, makeup, find the actors, the locations and get everything ready for production for when they returned, including snacks (trail mix, beef jerky and bottled water), which I did, except for the house needed. When they returned, we filmed the bulk of the film-the wooded scenes, in the local state park, for which I had paid for and attained a permit.
With the production manager at the helm, things were less than perfect and not efficient, she kept interrupting the cameraman, and not asking if a certain revision to the camera angles was alright with the writer - me. She was acting like it was her creation. She would call for meetings and conference calls, then not show up. Then when she did, she yelled at me for not giving her access to edit the film, which was not her job, the cameraman said he would edit it as well. Finally, the cameraman and I edited and completed the project on our own, with our own names in it, as well as the actors and credit to the locations, leaving the previous production manager out of it entirely.
So I guess the moral of my story is, people will sometimes show you what you want to see for the first while you’re together, whether it be a couple or just friends. But just bide your time, because that will be the true test, as to whether or not you will be compatible and support each other for the long haul.