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The nightmare of the last 4 years

The most horrible toxic guy ever!

By Susan LeePublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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The monster that is Samuel Moon

After President Trump was elected as the 45th President, the woman's March started on Jan. 21, 2017 in Washington D.C. and proliferated across the U.S. and around the world to convey the message that "women's rights are human rights." As if to foreshadow the need for the March and the subsequently ensuing #MeToo movement, a year before Donald Trump declared his candidacy in 2016, I met the worst guy of my Life.

My mom had met him through her "church" and so I trusted him. But little did I know he was a toxic guy who had severe boundary issues and was horrible in so many ways. He said he was a "Christian" and the naive part of me believed this. This was the worst mistake of my Life.

Because of this toxic guy, I wasted the last five years being in this state where I subjected myself to a treatment I did not deserve and to being traumatized. Had I not known that he went to "church," I would NOT have trusted him - the human instinct in me would not even given him the time of the day. But because he used his religion as a guise and because of his hypocrisy, I ended up being in a quagmire that I wish I had the prescience to not get into in the first place -- hell, to even avoid it like the plague. This guy was delusional and had woven an existence of delusion out of his beliefs and it seemed like "God" was going aiding and abetting this bad guy's delusions. He was a high-school drop-out, the ultimate worst! (He had dropped out of a vocational high school in Korea to be exact). Ugh!

I remember when I met this horrible human being that I felt "God" was pressuring me to give him the benefit of the doubt or to even engage with him when I (the woman) in me didn't want to. But a woman's instincts are always right and this was a bad guy. But this being who is supposed to protect me and guide me has been coercing me to put up with sexism and misogyny the last 4 years - the Banality of Evil that is Misogyny (see my previous essay) - and I'm done. If I have to spend even a mere second more in this situation, then I want to be compensated a million dollars because I'm worth that!

What kind of a message is this religion sending me and to other women in this era of the #MeToo movement by having me "be stuck' in a situation of coercion and blatant women's rights violation and thereby a human right violation? This being and Christianity are all rhetoric when it comes to feminism and upholding women's rights and the former especially seems to be an opportunist when it comes to how it treats women -- this being doesn't care about women, I've come to realize, because we are inherently worthy or sacred; apparently in this religion, a woman's worth seems to be a lot about her reproductive value and the "help" that she can bring a man. How warped and crazy is this?!

I'm done living in this shadow of Evil misogyny and patriarchy. Because I am a sacred vessel, not someone merely to be appropriated for the sake of religion or an agenda or politics, I voluntarily walk away...I walk away from this horrible macabre quagmire as a full human being and as a woman, exercising my volitional will to say NO! It is not okay for any institution to stoke sexism and misogyny for any goal and to exploit a woman and her body for whatever reason. It is not okay to exploit, period!

What this being is doing is going against UN Conventions and human rights norms in the world order and this is duplicitous, dangerous and inconsistent with women's rights and women's health, especially given that the first female Vice President in the U.S. was sworn in yesterday and in the next fifty years, more female leaders will rise up to break glass ceilings and assume leadership positions in the U.S. and everywhere, going beyond traditional "women's roles". It is a fact (existing sociological data strongly supports this) that societies that invest in and empower women, whether it be through education, job training, literacy, etc., fare better in the long-term than societies that relegate women's status. In the case of this religion, it seems to be stuck more in the latter, bound by centuries of antiquated notions of feminism and traditionalism. Consigning women to such traditional roles will be a huge step back and regression for the women's rights movement and to more modernized gender roles that are appropriate and fitting for the 21st century. So, empowered by other feminist allies, I release myself from this prison and break out of "what a woman's roles should be."

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About the Creator

Susan Lee

I graduated from Stanford University in 2002 with a BA in International Relations and a minor in Psychology and have a Masters in International Affairs from Georgetown University.

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