The message.

Okay God. I hear you. Loud and clear.

Does that mean it's easy for me to resign and allow you to take the wheel?

No. Not at all.

Because sometimes I truly wonder if everything that's going on in my little slice of the world is a part of your grand plan for me; or some other thing, like maybe I'm a test participant on a game show. And this is part of the training. 'Quick! Figure it out! You just received a bill for $1100 due upon receipt! Now what??'

I mean I hear your message God; between choosing an angel card that says 'look at the blessing in the midst of what appears to be a challenge. trust that God's protection and infinite wisdom are at hand', and reading a random page from the book The Quiet Mind by White Eagle where he talks about 'taking my mortal hand out of it and allowing God's hand in'; I hear you God.

My faith provides me with daily tests and this apparent challenge is no exception. I opened the bill and my heart sank. And then all of the other financial 'apparent challenges' came flooding in to my mind. All at once I felt overwhelmed and scared of my future. It's hard God. It's flippin hard to let you take over.

I keep getting caught up in the 'how', which I know is not my job. The 'how' is your job. Yet I find myself more often than I'd like; stressing about the 'how'. My neck is tight as I write these words.

So, how do I get over the 'how'? I don't know honestly. At this point, I'm tired of going upstream; exhausted is a more appropriate description. Everything that's in my path is financial.

Everything.

I'm not fighting anymore God. You know my finances. You know that I owe over $1000 for car payments, you know about the $1100 bill that arrived today, you know about the different payment plans for the credit card companies, you know all of this. You also know my workload.

I'm through with resisting. Because there's nothing else I can do but to surrender it over to you, God. In full, the whole enchilada, ball of wax, Big Mac- all of it.

I give myself to you, God. Do with me what you will.

Here's an excerpt from, The Quiet Mind, by White Eagle

Everyday upon awaking and many times during the day, particularly when you are being overwhelmed and harrassed by the affairs of the physical life, pause and remember that it is the little self, the human personality which is tested. Then you understand that above you in the invisible realms is that greater self, the Christ-self. Look into that form of glorious color, that radiant life, and you will feel infinite power flowing into your personality. You will be conscious, above your personality, of a self which is limitless, which is living in God.

The above is a nice reminder for me to pause and realize that my ego or little self gets in the way of me doing what it is God wants for me. A colleague/friend said to me yesterday, 'Shannon, this might seem like a step back, when really it is a spring board for something more awesome. All you have to do is trust and allow it flow'.

Okay Tracy, God, and Angels, I got it.

And I'll do my best to take my sticky hands off of the steering wheel.

My prayer is this:

God, help me take my sticky hands off of the wheel and choose You, in all of your glory.

Thanks.