The Manipulative Ways of an Ex After the Breakup

Just when you've finally accepted that the history between you and your ex is ancient, some weird signs begin to surface which cause you to think it truly isn't. For every ex who moves on, there is always that one ex who just won't let go. 

This is where a game is set into motion to mess with your mind.

The actions are often sneaky and may even go over your head. Then you realize you’re the prey chosen to be trapped into a web. Embarrassment follows as well as the shame that you’ve allowed yourself to be fooled. Whether memories had entered your mind, or underlying feelings of missing your ex were unknown to you at the time, you fell for it.

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Manipulation: The act of coercing with a deceitful intention for one’s own personal gain or twisted satisfaction.

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It's necessary to be perceptive and read between the lines. However, this isn't considered until after the fact but by then it's too late.

Read the signs below.

Five Common Signs:

Uses other people to contact you — Knowing mutual people makes this all the more likely. Especially if it’s someone who is on good terms with both you and your ex. Usually, the purpose is to keep tabs on you and also remain updated in terms of what is going on in your life.

Imposes a cordial demeanor and pours on the compliments — Nothing more than a shameless attempt to woo you in order wrap you around their finger.

Claims to want to build a friendship — Translation: “I want to get close to you again so that I can impose on your heart only to ghost it.”

Initiates contact in the beginning but then stops — Initially, your ex is eager to speak to you. However, the interest isn’t genuine, but more so the basis of the intention to gain a sense of your tone. Then analyze how to hook you.

Attempts to convince you to lower your guard — If the relationship ended badly, it isn’t unusual to uphold a shield to protect your feelings and dignity. But your ex doesn't care about exposing the rawness of old wounds which would take you back to square one.

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Overall, the reason isn’t to reconcile, but rather to maintain control over you from a distance. As soon as you give even the slightest impression you’re being reeled in, you’ve opened a can of worms by having granted your ex an admission. The effort will cease on their part and will they be content with knowing you’re easy to manipulate despite the time frame since the breakup.

Not only would it appear that you were eager to rekindle the communication, but also that your ex had been on your mind. Sure, you could deny it, but at a certain point the expectation would be there and, most likely, never ceased. Also, it would be so obvious and your ex would read it clearly.

Although you aren’t the first to have done such, and won’t be the last, caution will help you to tread lightly should you ever find yourself in such a position again.

The quicker you come to terms with having been the opponent in your ex’s calculating game, the quicker you’ll get over having relented to vulnerability. Rather than mope and be disappointed, learn from it.

Will-power is crucial. To know ahead of time how to contain yourself, by the use of common sense, is to avoid the regret you entertained your ex in the first place.

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Note: Don’t readily assume that your ex is resorting to any of which is suggested among the signs. Be completely certain, by observation, to avoid being flustered if it isn’t what you suspect it to be. Also, sum it up. Even if only two of the signs reveal themselves, then your suspicion is most likely valid.