The Last of a Generation

I hope to have been a part of the last Croatian generation descended from war. Whether it being born through a war or living through one, the generations dating back hundreds of years from the South-Eastern European region have bloodshed and tragedy etched into their DNA.

Croatia reminds me of a basic psychological concept that has gained vast awareness in recent years. Why do some find themselves in the same predicament over and over again? Psychology says that they find safety in said situation. A person who spends their early years developing amidst a chaotic home environment has that havoc ingrained into their identity which results in repeating that cycle in whatever situation they may find themselves in. Romantic relationships. Work environments. Friendships. Whatever is deemed the norm through identity is what is repeated.

For centuries, the Croatian region has endured war after war, regime after regime, hardship after hardship. Illness. Poverty. Corruption. Invasion. It has formed the identity of Croatia as we know it today because without it, who knows what it would be.

The predicament is an unfortunate one. It’s a balance that very few seem to master, recognise, or even desire to acknowledge. Granted that Croatians by nature are significantly stubborn peoples, combined with this identity, it makes for an absolutely dismal foundation for change.

For many, maintaining that identity is a subject of misunderstanding. We have been taught, or have come to understand that if one was to honour the past, they must stay in it.

This, I believe, has been to the detriment of any ability to progress forward as a country, people and region. It’s why there’s seldom few stories shared about Croatia’s history, particularly to the mainstream. The in-fighting, the inability to agree on a general picture, the varying beliefs that vow to be the be all and end all. I also suppose that my generation’s mantra of ‘keep your mouth shut’ also had something to do with it.

Stories, my friend, are healing. They’re a way to remember the past, to honour it in a way that our children, our grandchildren and beyond know and appreciate how their ancestors led them to where they themselves are today.

Cultivating a relationship with our history is unfathomably important. It’s a necessity.

But it needs to be done in a way we where we don’t identify with it to the point where it dictates every aspect of our being. We just came from there, we don’t need to go back. We can hold onto the pride, strength and honour that our ancestors lived and fought with, and bring it into our own lives in what we do. We see it in Croatian athletes regularly. Instead of giving up easily when something gets hard or when there’s not a soul in the world who believes in your ability to succeed in the pursuit of what you desire, channel those traits that got your ancestors through those events that everyone else seems to stick to.

The collective ego has to go if we want to move forward.

The association with the collective energy of being attached to this identity of war and hardship to the point where it continues to manifest in its own way needs to be altered for the future of the country.

Storytelling is a tool that needs to be utilised without limitations. It requires a fearlessness towards opinions and arguments. It requires the ability to hold space for varying views and why those views came to be.

Many across the region have had their views solidified not just by experience, but from stories too.

If storytelling can do that, then it can turn the page and support building a peaceful future whilst honouring those who came before us.