The Kindness of Bill

I hope this does not come across as me being self absorbed, but I've done many generous, selfless things in most of my thirty one year adult life. When I can, I give to my community with my time. I've donated money to charities of all kinds and I've even secretly paid for someones lunch or coffee in a drive thru. But out of all of the things that I have done to help someone, this one, is one I will remember for a lifetime.

It was a very cold early Sunday morning in January and my alarm didn't go off. Which means, I woke up late for church and was rushing to get myself and my girls ready. It already felt like it was going to be a bad day for me because there was no time for coffee or breakfast. The kids were even fussing over what I laid out for them to put on for church, which further worked my last nerve.

By the time we made it in the car we had exactly twenty minutes to get to church and it takes at least thirty minutes to get there. Showing up ten minutes late does not look good when you sing in the choir. So I put the petal to the medal to get there as quick as possible. A couple of miles before getting to the freeway entrance, I looked to my left and saw a tent in an open field. I hadn't noticed it there before this morning so who knows how long it had been there, but I raced right by it without even giving it a second look.

By the time church was over, the girls and I were starving. Waiting to get home so that I could cook breakfast would have only prolonged our starvation, so we went to IHop since it was close to the church. By the time we finished our breakfast I was not only full but I was exhausted. The only thing I wanted to do is get home and go back to bed.

When I exited the freeway to my home, an overwhelming feeling came over me. To try and describe it now is impossible for me but it was a feeling like no other feeling I've felt. I looked to my right and saw the tent again. I thought I was just going to glance over at it and keep moving like I did this morning but my conscious had another plan in mind.

Again, my mission was to get home and go to bed, but as I passed it, something within me told me to turn around and go to the Jack in the Box that is right off of the freeway. I kept telling myself, "No I am tired I just want to go to sleep." You ever have a fly buzz around and land only you, even in a crowd, as if you had the scent of food all over you? It didn't matter how many times you tried to shoo it away, it just kept coming for you? Well that was what my conscious was doing to me that day. Although I said no, and felt like I was in control, my conscious kept saying yes. And each one of the yeses had a different tone and more force behind it. It kept bothering me till I finally turned around when I was at the point of almost making it home. I have to admit, I was not happy about it because again, I was tired.

I drove past the tent again heading to Jack in the Box. I got to the drive thru and ordered a full combo meal and a cup of coffee. My girls were in the back seat looking confused because we had literally just eaten. My oldest asked, "Who is that for?" I told her that there was a homeless person by our house that I wanted to give it to. Both of my girls together made that awwwwwww sound that they were in agreement with what my conscious had me doing. I couldn't help but to smile.

I made my way back towards the direction of the tent and started thinking, "I don't know who this person is, this could be dangerous." But something in me was saying, "Don't worry, he is expecting you." I pulled on the side of the road and honked my horn. From where I could see, there was no movement in the tent and no one came out. So I waited a minute then honked my horn again. The head of an old white man peaked out of the tent. From the look on his faced he seemed dazed and confused as if he had just woken up. I waved my hand from inside the car at him and beckoned him to come over. As he climbed out of the tenant, I could tell how absolutely filthy he was because the dirt on his feet gave the appearance that he had shoes on, when actually he had none on at all . I could almost tell under all of the dirt and matting, that his hair was blond. His pants were being held up with a brown string and his t-shirt collar was stretched out so badly that it was hanging off of his shoulders.

He slowly walked to the passenger side of my car and my apprehension would not let me roll the window down all of the way. I said to him through my cracked window, "I brought you something to eat." With tears welling up in his eyes, he said, "You did? I was just thinking about how hungry I am." My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. The apprehension I had, was no longer there so I rolled the window all the way down. I asked him his name and he told me it was Bill. I gave Bill the bag of food and hot coffee and I told him I would see him later. He was so grateful, I'm getting emotional as I type this.

I drove home and all I could think about was Bill. Everyday I would take him food that would last him the whole day and sometimes warm blankets. We would greet each other with huge smiles on our faces, as if we've known each other for years. This went on for two whole weeks, that is until one day he was no longer there and there was no evidence that he ever was there. I drove around the city looking for his tent for days, but never found him. Till this day, and its been five years, I think about Bill and how he made me feel. I wonder if he is still alive and if so, how is he doing. I wish I could tell him how he impacted my life and how I'll never forget him. I am so thankful for that day and that two week experience. It was truly wonderful beyond measure that I followed my conscious and went to Jack in the Box. I thought it was me helping Bill, when actually it was Bill helping me.