The Golden Rule in Relationships

Individuals are not just isolated, they need to join the group, to perceive their existence and value in the social group.

Other people are like a mirror of you, and the way they treat you reflects your value in their minds to some extent.

When we join the social group, we will know where we are doing well and where we are not doing well.

Relationships are a valuable asset for anyone, yet not everyone has a good relationship, and some people are feeling the presence of fake relationships.

If you always have these 2 feelings, it means that you have poor people skills and need to make changes.

A sense of loneliness (others keep a distance from you)

When a person's popularity is very poor, then he is bound to feel isolated in the whole group relationship, so it will also produce a sense of loneliness.

The source of loneliness is caused by one's internal inferiority on the one hand, and external factors on the other hand, due to the deliberate distancing of others from you.

There are multiple distances in interpersonal interactions, different distances between different relationships, and the real distance between people is often determined by psychological distance.

When one party feels that you are not worth interacting with, then inevitably he will maintain a certain psychological distance from you and will not show you his truest state, and will not easily reveal his heart to you.

At work, you will often feel isolated from others, in a group seeking cooperation, others will not choose you.

Even if colleagues around you are smiling and welcoming, you will still feel isolated, you can never really integrate with them.

Second, the sense of inferiority (others will deliberately suppress you)

When a person is not respected and understood by others, then others will subconsciously degrade you and even will deliberately suppress you.

Those who are not well-liked often feel that they are not respected in group relationships, and they are often hurt by the behavior of the other party or the word of the other party.

In most cases, he feels that others are very hostile to him, he can not feel the warmth of others, but instead, he is always the party that is ignored in group relationships.

Others will easily ignore your feelings, others will not think of you in the first place, and you will always have a feeling that others do not like you, which will produce an extreme inferiority complex.

The reason why you will have such a series of feelings, the fundamental reason is that your popularity is too poor, others do not dare to easily and you have to establish a good social relationship.

How can we change?

Any relationship is a mutual influence, interpersonal relationships are also the same, you only pay will be rewarded, your poor people, to a large extent, caused by their reasons.

A. Be honest with each other

Have you ever heard the phrase: "Deceitful friendship is painful, hypocritical sympathy is a sharp poisoned arrow."

We should be honest with anyone, do not deliberately deceive others friendship, that will only be exchanged is also a deception.

When you bent to deceive others, others will build a gap with you, he no longer trusts you, then you will lose the space between further interaction.

Second, learn to give

As the saying goes, "suffering to see true love", those who can become friends must mutually know how to pay, this payment is from the heart, rather than for any purpose and benefit.

Some people approach others, often full of all kinds of deliberation and purpose, so these people are hypocritical, even if they are also giving behavior, but are not liked and accepted.

"When you are in good times, you only visit when you accept an invitation, and when you are in bad times, people who come uninvited are true friends."

As the saying goes, "You know when you're warm and cold", what kind of attitude you have towards others, then others are bound to feel it too.

If you want to have a sincere friend, then you must learn to pay, only if you know how to pay, you will enjoy the friendship of others.

Third, face up to their words and actions

There are some poor people, often because their words and actions unconsciously hurt others, whether they are straightforward people or the same life, in interpersonal relationships, you need to pay for their words and actions.

When we get along with others, we need to know to consider the feelings of others, to have some empathy, and kn, ow how to stand in the other person's perspective to think about the problem, rather than being eloquent and only caring about their feelings.

When we realize that we have poor people skills, do not just point out the problems and conflicts to others, but should be corrected ourselves.