The “Give Me Time” Guy

Here you are, after finding a great guy on Tinder (yeah let's be honest, that’s where everyone meets each other these days, no shame in that) who doesn’t seem too fucked up, or not too weird and actually has a good set of morals (your momma did good, boy!) You’re thinking to yourself “Ah, okay I found a good one, I can’t fuck this one up”. You go to the bathroom to get ready and make sure you don’t have lipstick on your teeth and ensure that your hair stays in place so you look #flawless alllllll night. You wink at yourself in the mirror (a little confidence boost) and put on your best outfit and out the door, you go!

Dates have been going well, the conversations are always flowing like Niagara Falls and things seem to be JUST perfect! I mean, maybe not perfect but you see a ton of potential in him and, most importantly, that cute relationship made-up scenario in your head, well, COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN! WHAA!!!

He’s gorgeous, got dark eyes, tanned skin, just how you like it. He listens to the same music you do and doesn’t judge the fact that you listen to Despacito like 50 times a day. He actually went out of his way to find you a Metal version of it because he knows you love heavy metal. He listens to you babble on about whatever you babble on about and you know, you don’t mind putting up with his babbling either. He talks really fast when he’s excited and you find that kind of charming.

THEN, the dreaded moment that all the girls know will eventually happen (it’s just a matter of time), he tells you his ex spoke to him a few days ago and he’s all sad and reminiscent of all the good times they had together when, really, you know he’s only missing the sex but HEY, what do I know! You try to comfort him but you’re kind of in an awkward place and not entirely sure how you should behave. Do you have the right to be mad? Should you feel insulted or should you be happy he was honest enough to tell you? And then you start to doubt yourself, was I too much? Did I push him away somehow? Was I the one who did something wrong? Maybe that’s why he stopped talking to me for a few days…And, if you’re anything like me, your brain goes into thinking overdrive and you drive yourself absolutely crazy thinking about the whole thing.

And then, you hear the words “I like you BUT…”

Ah fuck, the “I like you but…”

Whoever coined that sentence deserve an award for the sentence that makes your stomach drop in a matter of seconds.

He says “I like you but I need time to think about things” - This, is never a good sign. Your brain goes back into overdrive and you know this is the end. I mean, it's ending before it even really began! …wonderful.

All because some dumb ex-girlfriend decided that she felt lonely and wanted to have sex with someone she was comfortable with and HAD to message him back. So now, there you are, kind of…feeling loser-ish for picturing all these nice scenarios in your head that will never happen, for sending those nudes or teasing him late at night. You’re starting to feel very stupid for liking someone you met off Tinder (because we know nobody from Tinder is ACTUALLY reliable), for liking someone who deep down you knew would do this to you. You start to feel stupid because, well, because you’re hurt.

And, feeling stupid sometimes is a good reminder to not let people in so quickly. To not project yourself with someone even though things seem perfect. Most of the time if things are too good to be true, its because they actually are and, if things seem to be perfect, well, try looking at the relationship objectively and not thinking about those scenarios in your head.

Ps- can we find a new way to meet people? Tinder is getting old.