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The extroverted introvert

22 years, 22 self-care tools.

By Rowan WilliamsPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
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I’m pretty flamboyant in social situations, especially in groups – a classic extrovert. However, I actually need a lot of time on my own to recharge so that I can be that energised when I am around people, otherwise I start to feel sluggish. After a whole lot of trial and error I have finally started to build up a tool kit for maintaining good mental and physical health. It’s always a work in progress so, at 22 years old, here is a list of 22 things which I deem to be unwaveringly important to my health:

1 You can say no

Nights out, friendly favours, sex – everything. You can say no.

2 Trust your gut

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

3 Time alone isn’t scary

It may take a while to get used to, but it is not scary. If it does feel scary, it’s worth asking yourself why.

4 It’s okay to do nothing

I need time to do nothing. Don’t feel obliged to say yes to plans just so you have something to do and also don’t feel like you can’t say no to plans because you don’t have a ‘valid’ reason. ‘Nothing’ is a reason. Being tired is a reason.

5 It’s always worth an ask

I am still surprised how easily some things can come just by asking. It may seem obvious, but most people actually don’t ask, and it is often very rewarding if you do. What’s the worst that could happen?

6 Compliment people

If you think something nice about someone, tell them, it goes such a long way. Do make sure what you’re saying is appropriate though.

7 Let people know you love them

Life is short, tell your loved ones how you feel.

8 Know your boundaries

Know them, enforce them, don’t bend them.

9 Protect your space

Everyone needs a space to really relax (mine is my bedroom and the gym) and it pays to keep it protected from anything you find negative or stressful. Whether that’s work or a person, protect your space.

10 (My) actions speak louder than (my) words

Yep, the same applies you. If you want something to change, you have to actually do something about it – I learnt that the hard way.

11 Call it out

If something makes you feel uncomfortable, angry, or upset, even if it’s happening to someone else around you, CALL. IT. OUT. (Thank you Jameela Jamil)

12 Take a step back, be objective

This can be really hard sometimes and it takes a lot of practice but if I’m in a bad mood and I don’t know why I look at each aspect of my life independently. Either I find the reason why or I realise there is no reason and I can shake it off.

13 Look forward, not back

Take the lessons from your experiences but then move on, as long as you have learnt from it, there’s no use going back to dwell on it.

14 Friend dates are a thing

Having moved around a lot, I’ve learnt that sometimes friendships don’t happen organically. Sometimes you have to pluck up the courage and initiate a meet-up. It’s also okay to be picky about friends – red flags are a thing for friends too.

15 Hop off social media

This is an obvious one. Ditch the FOMO, ditch the comparisons, and don’t feel like you need to reply right away.

16 Hop on social media

I have a lot of long-distance friends and family, it’s definitely okay to want to have a decent message or facetime conversation with them sometimes.

17 Exercise is key

Endorphins are a thing. You don’t have to be a gym bunny or a rapid runner, just get on the move and get that heartrate up.

18 Walk as much as possible

I try to walk as much as I can. Even if it’s easier to take a five-minute bus, taking the time to walk with a good podcast in is a much more relaxing way to get from A to B.

19 Plan, plan, plan

Checklists, weekly planners, and calendars are my best friends

20 Have set routines…

I have a few little healthy routines which get me in the right frame of mind. My Sunday winddown (facemask and manicure) gets me relaxed for a good sleep, ready to kick Monday’s butt. Nothing beats an early cup of coffee while reading my emails in a quiet space, it kicks off my day with a clear mind.

21 …But don’t sweat it if you stray from routine

Being too strict with routine can actually increase my stress – it really doesn’t matter what order I do things, as long as they are done. Actually, it doesn’t even matter if they don’t get done sometimes. Just listen to your body.

22 Everything tastes better than skinny feels

Food is wonderful and so is feeling confident in your body, no matter what shape it is.

That's all folks, thanks for reading!

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