"The Epitome of Generativity"

Integrating a socially awkward, severely traumatized, mentally-ill young woman, and her older cat, Nitty - with a passion for the arts ANYWHERE - especially from "The Heights" of Heaven into this Post-Pandemic World we ALL now find ourselves in - while crossing over the border, with the help of my family and friends from the South Suburban Chicagoland area into the Northwestern Indiana region - or Northeastern Indiana, in you prefer - I have to think FAST. But slow down and be aware.

Sometimes that means taking a break to take care of myself and my family. Sometimes that means writing, journaling, playing piano, typing, taking pictures, or taking Nitty's new battle buddy, Roxy, for a walk.

Sometime's that means letting the fresh air in, and just listening to the sounds. Nitty hasn't had much an opportunity to do that. But she hopped right in her new carrying case today. It taught me that she can do indoor play with me peacefully. Roxy loyally waits by her guardian. I DON'T test faith. But am driven by science to do so! Everyone out in the world is struggling with SOMETHING - be it young children, animals, aches and pains with age. This bustling community offers many inter-faith based houses of worship nearby!

Right now, my war-torn battle buddy, Nitty, toughs it out. Always guarding over me, as the blood moon rises and wanes, to the soft glow of a Himalayan Salt Lamp - emitting negative ions into the air to combat all the over-active ones - along with a Tibetan Singing Bowl and some candles, she takes a much needed cat nap of respite before going on the prowl for mice, playing with/chasing cords or bottle caps, on the floor. Getting ready to watch the Rumba get some of the pet dander off the floor, and guarding over her, while her new Caribbean protégé, Roxy, eagerly guards her territory.

"Some things will NEVER change..." Tupac Shakur asserted in ONE of my MANY favorite song 2Pac songs... Crossing over the border into Indiana isn't much different than crossing the street ANYWHERE in the world - for a girl like me. Some people are gonna love you, and some people are gonna hate. At my last apartment, during the height of the Pandemic's outbreak, I was walking down the street, in the freezing cold, with my loyal boyfriend by my side. We both noticed a middle aged woman walking towards us. He couldn't see it coming, but I sensed trouble from a mile away.

Though he looked down and protected me by giving her some space to pass by, she erratically shoved me into the street. Literally. Thank God there WAS an airborne viral pandemic. Because people WERE isolating in place. There were no cars in the normally bustling street. That DID reduce carbon emissions, though I noticed the cops DID run up on her, about a mile away. I got up quickly, and said a prayer for her. If she knocked me into the ground that hard, SHE'S got WAY more problems than I do. Why? I have NO idea. They probably knew who she was. She didn't know who I was. They didn't know who I was, either. Those were TENSE times for EVERYONE. Especially an elderly woman like that. She was susceptible to the streets. Here in the Northeastern Indiana region, people SLOW DOWN. They watch over the house like Nitty does now, while Roxy guards her owner.

The good news is, besides pets and church, some of the locals out here, also LOVE making and listening to music! Really, REALLY good music. Of all kinds! Just like the diversity in the 'hood or the city, the competition and spiritual possibilities out here are FIERCE and endless - depending on what region of Illinois you are heading from to what region of Indiana you are headed towards. I believe that every moment is an opportunity to learn and explore... to transfer my knowledge into the BEST, most INCLUSIVE and diverse classroom. It's about being aware, alert, mindful and respectful. These are all things I learned while studying vocal technique. "Your Singing Voice". [Jeannie Gagne. BerkleePress.]

I believe that where there's good music, there's good people. That's LIVING IN THE MOMENT. Being a good musician requires a timing and a tempo I just fail to execute properly! I'm as camera shy as my napping kitty cat behind me is right now.

That little, old thing I adopted is getting older. She can't keep up with this much chaos. I've got my hands full of paperwork, phone calls, all while being mindful of my neighbors, who have children who need to sleep, because maybe I CAN sing. When I "calm down". Thank you for the backing tracks, Ms. Swift!

I also thank my ALL my trusted and faithful companions, guides, and friends for their support.

I've always trusted people. That's the tenacity of PRACTICING compassion. It doesn't matter where you've been. As we say back home, "ain't nobody perfect". I'm no perfect Christian, but I always try to do what I feel is the most fair and objective for all, with blind faith that maybe that one person sitting on the ground, crying outside the airport bar, that everyone just passed by in the busy airport, just needed someone to talk to them. And stand by them because they're anxious. My mother was terrified of flying. He was sitting outside a bar. People saw what they say and made assumptions. I waited by his side until an older woman joined him. She thanked me. I figured, SOMEBODY'S gotta be watching over this person, if I'm the ONLY person willing to go up to them and ask, "Hey... are you ok?" [Taylor Swift. "You Need to Calm Down". Lover.]

Tupac, may his soul rest in peace, goes on to rap that, "There's a Heaven for a 'G'". [Keep Ya' Head Up.] That's what I would want for ALL the people I've lost in my family and life, "and that's how it's supposed to be," he concludes, in, "That's Just the Way it Is..." Maybe when I wandered through the forest, and that girl called out about their transgendered sibling, and I wandered off, it wasn't because I was intimidated. Maybe she DOES have an older transgendered sibling, and needed someone to talk to. So did the man with the "Roar" book in the red barn. He showed me pictures of a pet lion he had that once died. For anyone that's lost something/someone/or is grieving, no matter where they are, I too, have "Shed So Many Tears". [Netflix, Facebook. NAMI/DBSA Google.]

There MUST be a much greater force than myself watching over me that might just be keeping me ALIVE and SAFE while I WAS while, "running wild" or just "wandering" as some people say. Much like Nitty, I feel old. We were weary. I isolated in place, terrified, for about as long as the Pandemic before she did. So did Nitty. That's a form of torture. It's solitary confinement, which causes everyone to wonder, "how IS that girl still alive?!"

Anyone that's lost anyone or anything, or feels that isolated, based on appearances alone, should get to know their neighbors better, and acclimate best to their immediate surroundings. Be mindful. Be aware. Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself. You really never know what's going on behind closed doors unless you knock and ask. I think where's there good music, or silence, or ANYTHING that distracts my mind without ruining my posture - for my deep breathing technique - something I learned from studying vocal technique. ["Your Singing Voice" Jeannie Gagne. BerkleePress.] Helps me.

Fear, or it's mere perception of it, CAN be tamed. It's a biological reality now ALL MUST face, now, together, to better understand the nature of being controlled by far TOO harsh a pre-conceived notion, or opinion, but also a valid scientific reality - an airborne "virus". That's something I learned in nursing school. (Microbiology 1o1, with a kind, dedicated teacher who was retiring from my local South Suburban Chicagoland College). She sadly, retired...

People out here expect PROGRESS, and there's no need to fear my message. This "virus" IS a scientific organism that CAN and HAS been transmitted, killed many, and is debated fiercely to this day as to whether or not it is even CATEGORIZED as a "living-organism". It IS. "Perception is reality" Said the shrinks. Some Native American's call this "symbiosis". Wherever I'm traveling, when I'm out - and that starts with primping in the mirror, obsessively, which hasn't killed me, yet, has somehow NOT killed me.

Though, with Roxy by my side, meeting up with me and Nitty, so loyally. Nitty catches her cat nap from chasing fireflies, curled up in a ball, taking her respite. Right behind my back. (We're trying to get her up to running after mice, first we start with the basics. Indoor putt-putt course!).

Downstairs the dog was calm, the cat looked on, from her spot in the shade, while I waited for my meds to kick in, and I cried the other day. I tried to hide them, but I sobbed. Trying to impart the epitome of generativity really DOES start with compassion (DBSA). But loss does indeed involve six stages of grief. (Elizabeth Kubler Ross. Psychology 101. Theory of Grieving. DSM-III, DSM-IV) DSM-MORE?

Ok?

Love y'all!