The Difference a Mattress Can Make in Your Marriage

If you’re an active adult, you’re bound to recognize the value of a good night’s sleep. At the very least, you’re likely familiar with the consequences of a not-so-great night’s sleep—you toss and turn at night, and everything is thrown off-balance. You’re crankier. You’re less productive at work. You’re more easily frustrated by the “little things.”

We’re all-too aware how the quality of our sleep can influence our everyday lives—but what about our relationships?

It makes sense, doesn’t it? If sleep is so intimately tied to our physical and mental health, it has to influence our relationships. Sleep deprivation is a major issue in so many relationships, and it could be the reason you and your partner have been hitting bumps in the road; in fact, since I got a new mattress for our apartment, my partner and I have been getting along noticeably better. There are a few reasons why that might be:

You fight more when you’re tired.

Irritability might be the most obvious reason. The morning finally comes after a night of broken rest, and everything gets on your nerves; you wake up frustrated, and the rest of the day follows suit. Your husband doesn’t wash his cereal bowl after breakfast? He’s already gotten on your bad side. He doesn’t call during lunch? You’re even more ticked. He forgets to book the restaurant for tomorrow night? You’re set off—he comes home, and it’s World War III. It’s true, they’re little things. But, when everything is frustrating you, the little things add up.

Every couple fights. But when you look back on a blow-up and realize you’ve been fighting over a dinner reservation—well, that’s not a good feeling. Too often is irritability between couples a result of not getting enough sleep. Remedying sleep loss can be a vital step in remedying your relationship issues. You miss out on a good night’s rest, and you probably wouldn’t even have enjoyed that restaurant for tomorrow night.

Sleep deprivation makes you sick.

Sleep loss doesn’t just affect how cranky you are when you roll out of bed in the morning—it actually affects your immune system. That’s right, sleep deprivation negatively influences both your emotional and physical health, and both influence the health of your relationship.

According to the National Sleep Foundation, sleep plays a vital role in your physical health. What does this mean for your relationship? If you’re not feeling well physically, you’ll probably project some of those awful feelings into your relationship. And, who could blame you? With a pounding migraine, the “little things” between you and your partner that you’re generally able to handle can seem unhandleable. That means more pent-up frustrations. That means more unnecessary arguments. That means a more tumultuous relationship.

While a better night’s rest won’t guarantee a sneeze-free flu season, it can really help to strengthen your immune system. And when you’re feeling healthy, your relationship will start feeling healthier, too.

Sleep loss influences your decision-making.

If you toss and turn all night, you’ll probably wake up with a little bit of “brain fog.” That doesn’t just mean you’ll need an extra second to remember which toothbrush is yours. That means that the decisions between you and your partner—those which you may not even realize are that important—are jeopardized by that fogginess.

You’re constantly making decisions about your relationship. You wake up hazy, and the little things start slipping. That can result in negative consequences in your relationship. I mean, wouldn’t you be upset if your partner forgot about those brunch reservations with your parents?

Getting sufficient sleep is vital in maintaining mental clarity. The mental sharpness that comes with a good night’s sleep will help you recognize what’s a good decision, and what’s a bad decision. Plus, your ability to more effectively deal with those little mistakes will be vastly improved when you’re free from the “brain fog.”

Sleep loss leads to less passion.

We get it—no couple can sleep soundlessly in the same bed, every night, all the time. He might snore, or she might steal all the blankets; whatever it is, no couple can always achieve the perfect night’s sleep. Not all bedroom-problems can be cured; if your partner is a natural snorer, there’s only so much you can do. However, there are certain measures that can be taken to improve the quality of your and your partner’s sleep. Don’t underestimate the power a quality mattress can have on your and your partner’s ability to rest. You both sleep better, and you’re both more inclined to tuck into the same bed at night. Plus—you have more energy, you have more energy to put back into your relationship.

What can you do?

Now you know a few of the ways that poor sleep can affect your marriage; it’s pretty clear that quality rest is vital in maintaining health in your mind, your body, your soul, and your relationship. I recently tried out a Lull mattress myself—I figured that given the 100 night trial period, I didn’t have much to lose. The mattress took about a day to inflate all the way, but once it did, I noticed a difference within the first couple nights. I’ve been clearer-headed and have noticeably less pain in my back, which has made me so much less irritable in my day-to-day. There’s no question that I have fewer small spats and disagreements with my partner throughout the day, and he’s been in higher spirits too.

Overall, I’ve found that while there’s no secret to achieving soundless sleep every night, there are measures you can take to help set you—and your partner—up for success. Step one is investing in a comfortable, quality mattress.

I received a Lull mattress in compensation for this story.