The Corona Diaries #3

THE IMPORTANCE OF STAYING CONNECTED DURING THE PANDEMIC:

Humans thrive with social connection and physical contact. The increased risk of community transmission prevented people from attending social events and having physical contact with loved ones, unless they were already living in the same household. People from all over the world were struggling with this new guideline of social distancing with people outside of your household. To increase recreation involvement and socialization, we needed to be dependent on platforms such as Zoom. Even though places like the community centres and libraries were closed for in-person events and activities, they were still able to connect with each other virtually. Families and friends were encouraged to host virtual birthday parties, social events and weekly casual gatherings on Messenger or Zoom, as restaurants, bars, fitness clubs and amusement centres were closed to the public. Public events such as the Canada Day celebration and the annual Pride Parade had to occur online as opposed to at a public park or in a district such as downtown Toronto.

It was a huge transition for everyone, especially for people with non-verbal disabilities and mental health disorders. People who have disabilities such as non-verbal autism or who are mute communicate by touching, so it is especially challenging for them to physically distance themselves from others. People with mental illnesses such as depression are susceptible to alienation, especially if their support system of people is limited. Due to certain people's circumstances, some people don't have many family members and friends to depend on for emotional and mental health support, so it can increase their risk of social isolation and loneliness.

Thankfully I have a large support system and there are always people to assist me in my building, if I request it. For personal reasons, I don't trust a lot of staff in my building, but there are a quite a few that I trust. I have my family and friends who I always communicate with virtually, on the phone and in-person if necessitated. Before my residence was unable to permit visitors, my mom was able to provide me essential things such as bars of soap and drop it off to my apartment. I was allowed to visit my neighbour with a few of my other friends in the building, while following social distancing guidelines. Even though we were in his apartment, we knew that we couldn't physically touch or share food with each other. We were good at giving each other personal space and following the public health guidelines, while having a good time playing video games in the living room. My friends and I would always talk to each other by text or on Facebook messenger. We would have the occasionally video or phone chat, when we were in the mood. We would also have the odd hangout with a bunch of friends on FaceTime or Messenger, which was a lot of fun.

HOW SOCIAL DISTANCING AFFECTED ME IN GOOD AND BAD WAYS?

I despised being imposed by the government to stay home and not be in close contact with people. Even if I knew that it was for the better of my health and the community, I really had to work hard to adjust to this new and unusual rule of social distancing. I did not mind just using my speech or gestures to communicate with people like my friends or strangers, since I always like to be aware of others personal space. A handful of my friends don't like much physical contact because of shyness, sensory processing difficulties or germophobia so, my friends and I did not mind not touching each other. I am a pretty easy-going and flexible person, so it was not a big deal for me. I have quite a few friends who struggled with social distancing and not being able to attend social gatherings such as birthday parties. I have quite a few friends that love to hug and high-five their close friends, so I can imagine how hard it would be for them. Many of my friends love to party and get together for dinner with friends, so it was a real challenge for them. They couldn't even host their own birthday parties, since my building prohibited us from doing so. It was hard for me too, but I was able to adapt more easily than the majority of my peers in and out of my residence.

For myself, the hardest part about social distancing was not getting to hug or kiss my family members. I succeed by having a family member hug, kiss me or put their arms around me, especially when I am going through a rough patch. I could not imagine myself living without having that physical contact from my family, because I was so accustomed to it. It was like losing a part of my routine that I was so used to for my entire life. For example, when my dad came to visit me in the front yard without me knowing in advance, things went downhill very quickly. I originally told him that I do not want him visiting me, because the thought of not being able to hug or put my shoulder on him would be a big trigger for me. Five days later, my dad called me and told me that there was a delivery for me outside. Since I love getting parcels, I was excited like a frog hopping and giggling on each of the lily pads. I bundled up in my sweatshirt and running shoes and rushed out the door to meet the delivery man. I was quite baffled, so my dad called me to clarify that it was outside on the porch. Once I turned to the left, it was my dad wearing a mask and trying to take a picture of me without my permission. Once I approached my dad, I was a complete mess and started entering meltdown mode. As my dad and I were walking to the rock garden, I was crying hysterically and raising my voice because I was just so upset that he couldn't just tell me in advance and tell me the truth as opposed to lying to me that there was a delivery outside the building. It ruined my whole entire day, especially when it was unexpected and last minute. Once I came up to my bedroom, I was calling my mom feeling infuriated and told her that dad did not tell me beforehand and that it was hard to have a no-hug type of visit in the garden. That was one of the worst experiences I have ever had, even if my dad meant well and didn't want me to bottle in emotions of loneliness.

Mothers Day was another challenging time for me. The day before Mother's Day was a rather gruesome, gloomy, depressing and cold day. The usual Mother's Day ritual of going for brunch with my family and being out and about for the day could not occur. I was unable to wrap my arms around my mom and my grandmother which made things even worse. It had to be a boring, short and socially-distanced visit with my mom which I hated very much. On the bright side of things, I gave her one of my handmade rugs for Mother's Day, texted my grandmother and stepmom as usual. Things were rather modified for the safety and wellbeing of me, my family, my friends and the entire community. Social distancing with my mom or my grandma wasn't as provoking as social distancing with my dad, because I have a heightened level of separation anxiety from my dad. My mom and I don't have separation issues, so it wasn't such a big deal for me, even though I hated being told to by the government. For the most part, everything worked out okay on Mother's Day.

SOCIAL GATHERINGS AND VIRTUAL GET-TOGETHERS WITH MY PEERS

My friends and I are ultimately reliant on technology, so it wasn't too bad for us to hang out on platforms like FaceTime, Messenger or Zoom. For one of my friends birthdays, I arranged a virtual birthday party, so he wouldn't celebrate alone. It was supposed to be just a simple birthday party, and then one of my other friends had the coolest idea that I have never discovered or thought of myself- a Netflix party. Most of my friends and I love to watch TV and films on Netflix, so it was a fantastic idea. I don't remember exactly what we watched, but it was an episode of a random TV series on Netflix. I was able to work on some of my craft project while watching the film from my own bedroom.

I was able to connect with mutual friends during those virtual hangouts and parties. A lot of the mutual friends either lived further away or the lack of transportation can limit them from visiting certain people, so it worked out very well. We got to mingle and have a good time without worrying about how other people will get to and from my apartment. I had a wonderful opportunity to befriend some of the people that some of my friends are close with. One of the girls that I met during the Netflix party was a girl who was spiritually-inclined, intelligent, youthful and vegan; she was able to teach me some new things that I never knew about regarding nutrition and health. After the Netflix party, she and I added each other on Facebook and started having some interesting conversations. On another night, I invited one of my old high school friends, one of my best friends, my friend and her boyfriend to have a virtual game night on Zoom, which was lots of fun. Many of my girlfriends in the building I live in would also get together regularly on Messenger and just talk about looking forward to post-pandemic life, the fun things we have been doing to pass time, usual drama, the possible birthday party for two of the women and the food we have been enjoying. We thrived with Messenger and were able to make that a regular part of our routine. It made many of my friends satisfied, since two of the women have Bipolar-related depression. It would be tough on them to not have that kind of social contact with close friends such as myself. My friends and I were alone but we were always together as a family.

VIRTUAL RECREATION PROGRAMS

Recreational programs were offered online, as camps and after school programs were closed until authorized. I was not used to doing any online programs and thought it would be strange for me, so I often did not participate in many of them. As opposed to engaging in virtual fitness or recreational programs that were offered for free, I used the majority of my leisure time to just get through this pandemic and look forward to the summer. I did many of my activities by myself in my apartment or with my neighbours out in the yard.

Whenever I was mentally ready to participate in a virtual recreation program, I found this amazing mandala art workshop hosted by WIZO (The Women's Shelter in Israel). This lady who is a domestic abuse survivor, artist and shelter worker hosted this painting program which I enjoyed very much. It was offered on Facebook and I was not required to pay a fee to participate, which was very good for me. I had to register on Facebook and then meet the other participants and activity instructor on Zoom. I also took part in a university bingo-game for a chance to win a gift card, which did not end up happening. I only played for the sake of fulfillment, which was fine with me. I did not mind not winning a gift card, even though I was aiming to win. The bingo game was hosted by Wilfred Laurier students through Instagram live. Fortunately, I did not have to travel a long way to participate in the bingo game. I was able to play at the local park where I was hanging out in that evening. When I got home, I was able to finish the game on my computer.

In terms of fitness programs, I did not do any of the virtual ones. I love going to the gym and doing manual exercise. I find participating in a virtual fitness program out of the ordinary for me, since I am not accustomed to doing those things as often. In lieu of fitness programs, I found YouTube workouts for me to enjoy without meeting anyone virtually. With that being said, my friend and I were still able to workout together on Zoom. She is a personal trainer and nutritionist herself, so I was able to pay $15.00 for a workout session every two weeks on a Sunday. I felt more comfortable working out with someone I knew than someone I did not know, because I was afraid that I would be made fun of or criticized for not being able to perform the exercise properly.

TODAYS TAKEAWAYS

1) Social distancing is a challenge for many people, not just people with disabilities. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, frustrated while still being able to work your way around things. You’re not alone in this situation.

2) Take advantage of technology, because we also need it for social purposes. We don't have to spend hours on social media, but we are encouraged to use it for networking with family and friends at specific times.

3) We can still celebrate our achievements and have social gatherings while being safe and healthy at home. Look for some quarantine party ideas on the internet! Lots of good can come out of these opportunities, so value the benefits as well.

4) Do what you can tolerate. Don't force yourself to do whatever you don't feel confident doing.

5) People are affected by this pandemic differently. Let's all respect each other's beliefs and opinions on this experience we are having with social distancing.

6) There are pros and cons to every situation. Focus on what you can do to connect with your loved ones, instead of not being able to do the usual.

I hope this diary will teach you something to take with you for the rest of your life. Please feel free to send me a tip, like and share this story with your friends and family. Also, feel free to follow me on Instagram under the name of naturalbibliophile22 and hopefully we can be friends! Seize the day and wish all of you good health. Cheers!