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The Comfort of a Will

by Ben Shelley 2 months ago in humanity
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A comfort blanket in a world of discontent

The Comfort of a Will
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

When you say to someone that you are considering writing a Will, they become nervous. They do not wish to talk about it as it is deemed to be too morbid and my wife is very much in that train of thought. She hates talking about writing a Will as she considers it to be too morbid.

I consider the process of writing a Will to be comforting. It offers security in the event of the worst happening and let's face it, we all have to cross that bridge at some point. We don't want to die but much like taxes, death will find us even if we would prefer to avoid it.

Ahead of travelling around the world for a few weeks this summer, I am scared. I am worried about what could happen, which comes from a fear of flying and it is something that I am concerned with and yet, I acknowledge how lucky I am.

To comfort my fears I turn to my legacy. To the question of if the worst were to happen, what would be left behind? For me right now it would be debt and animals that need looking after and so leaving a plan for how these would be looked after provides me with comfort.

A Comforting Consideration

I do not have a Will and neither does my wife. Something that is most likely, stupid. We should have a pre-prepared plan of action to ensure that our wishes and affairs are taken care of but due to the perceived 'morbid nature' of the task, we have not gotten around to it.

With less than a few days to go until we travel around the world to celebrate our honeymoon, my wife and I have no chance to catch up. To write a Will and have it sworn in by a court of law but we do have time to leave behind a plan of action and this is what I am clinging to.

Ahead of every single flight that I take I always look to write an entry that will leave behind a plan. A route map of how to pay off my debts, where the money is kept, what to be done with my Pokemon Cards and who should look after our fish. The essential considerations.

What happens to my kneeling stool is immaterial. I want to ensure that the essential considerations are met. That my wishes for my funeral are adhered to and all of my affairs are taken care of to ensure that my Mum is not left with a debt to pay off. By leaving a plan behind I am comforted.

Where do I Leave These Thoughts?

For years and years, I have been writing a personal blog. One that was banned by Google for a while (God knows what for) but has been running for many years consistently. It is a source of personal pride that I have kept it going for as long as I have as it makes no money. There are no sponsorships and most likely, never will but that matters not.

I write to my wife. Every single week I craft my thoughts into a narrative for her to read as she is my inspiration in life. She provides me comfort in the darkest hours and is my hero. Despite the consideration that no money will ever be made, I love to write and therefore, it is a pleasure.

I leave these thoughts for my wife every week in order to share my thoughts with her. Beyond our day-to-day interactions, she is able to gain additional understanding and appreciation for who I am and I love it.

You can read my blog here and I have pre-scheduled a blog for September 13th that will cover my wishes, if the worst were to happen. The purpose to share this link is not to brag or promote my content, it is to ensure that my affairs are taken into account and not lost.

My hope is that someone will see this content and let my friends and family know (if they have not already seen it). It provides me with comfort knowing that at least someone will see my thoughts and act on them.

Writing a Will

If we make it back to London at the end of August (my absolute hope) then I will push my wife to create a Will. To step out of the 'this is morbid' thought and into the world of pre-emptive action. To ensure that no matter not we will leave everything in a better state than we found it rather than leaving our messes for someone else to solve.

We are two grown adults who are married. We share thoughts, feelings and responsibilities. We should easily be able to move beyond the fear of death and focus and ensuring that our legacies are secure. That our friends and family know our wishes and act on them.

Whilst I never want to contemplate death, it is a necessary evil in our lives. We cannot assume that we will go peacefully in our sleep and need to ensure that our legacies are secure, or at least I do. Writing a Will/preparing our final thoughts is key to this.

A Final Thought

Writing a Will is not a pleasure for me. I love my life, my friends, my family and my job, as well as my hobbies. Life is amazing and I cannot wait to wake up each and every day, to engage in the world around me and ensure that I can exit happy.

Living with regret is something that I cannot contemplate. I would rather try and fail than never try at all. I would rather engage in the world around me, rather than assume that it will always be here and I will be able to achieve everything that I seek.

Writing a Will is insurance. A reference point for people that come after me to ensure that my affairs are taken care of and there are no loose ends. Something that provides me with immense comfort and helps me step onto a plane, as I know that things will be taken care of.


About the author

Ben Shelley

Someone who has no idea about where their place is in this world, yet for the love of content, must continue writing.

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