The Burbs Are a Lonely Place

Joy Behar, a T.V. personality on The View, said she lived in L.A. for two years, and she's never been so lonely in her life. She claimed she had a relationship with Jack at Jack-in-the-Box. I completely understood what she meant, although she didn't elaborate on it.

I'm from California and lived for many years in L.A. The problem isn't California or even L.A. The problem is the suburban neighborhoods all over the country. People sequester themselves in their houses and are seen on occasion getting in their car to go to work, the store, or take their kids to soccer practice. Neighbors rarely speak to each other. I lived in neighborhoods for years without ever knowing one person's name on the street.

I lived a life of quiet desperation for most of my life without knowing it. I began to understand when I got divorced and moved into an apartment next to a small shopping mall. That's when I discovered Starbucks, which I consider the greatest invention ever.

I observed people sitting at tables outside in the California sunshine chatting with friends and family while enjoying coffee and frappuccinos. I immediately recognized it as community.

Unfortunately, six months after my divorce, I bought a house and lived a lonely existence in the suburbs for ten years.

I hated it! I have since come to my senses and will only live in urban areas with shops and restaurants within walking distance. I lived in a high rise in downtown Louisville, Kentucky, home of the Kentucky Derby, for two years. The main library sat diagonally across the street from me; my hairdresser was half a block up, restaurants, boutiques, five-star hotels, art galleries, and museums were within walking distance.

I moved back to my home state of California after that and did a short stint in the suburbs again. Now, I live in Mazatlan, Mexico, close to the beach, restaurants, shops, and Holiday Inn. I'm now part of a community again.

I take a walk down the street, and all the shop owners recognize me and say, buenos dias, cómo estás? The waiters in the restaurants know my name, and I know theirs. That's what I mean by community. If I ever start to feel lonely living alone, I stroll down the street greeting everyone and stop at my favorite coffee shop for a cup or go to lunch in one of the many restaurants. I occasionally eat across the street at the Holiday Inn. There's also the beach within walking distance where I can walk barefoot at the water's edge and connect with people.

Joy Behar is a New Yorker, so I can understand why she would feel lonely living in L.A. I suppose if you're raising children, the suburbs are a good place. I raised my children in somewhat of a rural area outside the city of L.A. and that was better.

As a single committed person, I can say that an urban lifestyle is a great way to live. Although, I think I would enjoy living in the country with pet chickens, pigs, and goats to keep me company.

If I had the money, I would own a condo in an urban area and own a country home. I have fond memories of my grandparents' home in the country. They raised all their food. I once watched my grandmother wring a chicken's neck and serve it for dinner. I'm too soft-hearted to kill an animal. I'd sooner starve to death. I'd probably become an animal hoarder if I had a place in the country.

I'd better stay in the city, any place other than the burbs.