The Best Way to Manage Relationships

Is there anyone on Earth who can say with the utmost confidence that all his relationships are well managed and perfect? Well, if you leave some of the delusional ones, then nobody can possibly claim this.

But can you say that you always put in your 100% in every relationship? Of course yes. You can very well say that.

Basically, our goal is to maintain harmony and serenity in all the relationships a person can have but the way the structure is set in today’s world, it looks almost next to impossible to balance out each and every relationship all the time.

If you give time to your gf, your mother and sister seem left out; when you decide to become a dedicated family guy, your love life becomes dull; if you are a hardcore romantic kind of guy, your friendships take a toll and if you are a career-oriented guy, then hahaha, you know what I am talking about!

What a man gotta do to keep everyone happy and satisfied?

The Infinite Bucket List

Everyone comes with their own bucket list, which they want YOU to fulfill in order to keep the relationship going.

What happens next when you accomplish an expectation of somebody who’s close to you? Do they become satisfied with you for the rest of their lives?

Instead, the exact opposite happens. Their demands and expectations increase at a meteoric level, which is why I call it the “Infinite Bucket List”.

If you fulfill your husband’s one wish, so does he go like, “Oh wonderful! I have got the ideal wife”, or the list keeps on expanding in perpetuity?

Is this the solution then? Because there is literally no end to expectations.

It should be crystal clear to us that it is impossible to bring to fruition the expectations of everyone at a given time.

The other thing to remember is that it is also impossible to completely satisfy the expectations of even a single person in your lifetime.

It has been said time and time again, that a person’s needs can be met from the resources available in this world.

There is enough food available to meet everyone’s hunger. There is enough land to provide shelter for everyone.

Needs can be achieved with a snap of your fingers. But to accomplish all the expectations or desires of even a single person; even the whole universe would fall short.

Desires are infinite and unattainable whereas needs are finite and attainable entirely.

DESIRES VS NEEDS

We need to understand the variance between the two in order to not suck at relationships.

So, start looking at what the other person is asking for; is that a need or just a whim/desire.

The difference between an unrealistic desire and a realistic need should be very clear because we are dealing at the level of the mind here.

If we are dealing at the level of materialistic reality then there everything is possible. But here we are dealing with humans, and at the level of human psychology, there are things that are just not possible.

Psychologically satisfying someone is a daunting task that is not in your control.

The materialistic level is relatively easy. Earning money, $10 million, $1 Billion. These are achievable goals. Small house, big house. Small car, sports car; these are possible.

But for someone who puts the entire responsibility of her happiness in your tiny hands, then things start getting a little out of control.

The happiness you provide can be temporary, like when you gift someone or throw them a party or take them to an amazing dinner; but it is not absolute or permanent.

It isn’t gonna last for long, no matter how hard you try. Only the partner himself can ensure his own happiness.

If someone wants to change THEIR life, then it’s very important for THEM to understand that no one, including YOU, can change THEIR lives, but THEY themselves.

https://infinitians.com/why-your-relationships-sucks-how-to-manage-it/