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The Art Of Self-Love

Stop Letting Others Steal Your Peace

By Susan F WeimerPublished 2 years ago 3 min read
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I love you. You are perfectly fine, just as you are. You are enough all by yourself. You don't need anyone else to give you value or complete you.

These are things you should say to yourself every day. Self-love is not selfish. You should be the most significant person in the world to you. Why? Because there is no one else in the world exactly like you, and that is significant.

Stop before you say to yourself, "That is probably a good thing". Are you saying that positively or negatively?

Negatively = That's good. Who would want more of me?

Positively = That's terrific because it makes me unique.

I’m not a doctor or psychiatrist, so why should you listen to me? I have personal experience. I have bipolar disorder. Many people would not admit this. They are ashamed to admit they have a mental illness. Because the words "mental illness" have such a stigma. But that is something that society should change. I should not feel ashamed about having an illness. I didn't do this to myself. I was born this way. And I refuse to allow others to make me feel ashamed about something I was born with.

If I allow someone else to make me think poorly about myself, I give that person power over me. I am letting them tell me what to believe about myself. Why would I do that? Why would I care so much about what someone else thinks and let it make me feel poorly of myself?

I'm not saying you should be self-centered. But you should value yourself. What someone else thinks about you is neither your business nor your problem. Why would you care? How do their thoughts affect your life? They don’t, they can’t, and you shouldn’t let them. What people say or believe about you shouldn’t matter to you. Hold your head high and believe in yourself.

When you allow yourself to give value to negative things people do or say to you or about you, it's like renting a room in your home to someone who hates you and says hateful things about you to your face all the time. You would never rent a room in your home to someone like that. Don’t rent a room in your head for negative thoughts or memories.

To love yourself you need inner peace. Don’t dwell on past hurts or difficult situations. Let the past be where it is, in the past. One should live moment to moment. Staying in the present moment at all times. When a memory or thought of something negative comes into your mind ground yourself by thinking about what you are doing right now. Feel the ground/floor under your feet or the seat beneath your body. Look around in the room and notice the things that are there. Grounding is especially helpful for anyone who suffers flashbacks of disturbing memories and has trouble pulling themselves out of them.

Any time a negative thought or memory comes into your mind, stop and start speaking positive things to yourself instead. It works honestly.

One thing I have been doing is listening to recordings of positive affirmations from YouTube. You can either listen to them at night while you drift off to sleep or in the morning as you are getting ready for your day. Repeat them out loud or in your mind as you hear them. And do it every day to erase all the negativity that has built up in your life.

Here is a link to help you get started:

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=positive+affirmations

You don’t have to watch it unless you want to. You can simply listen to it as you proceed with whatever you are doing as you would your favorite music.

I sincerely hope this helps someone who reads what I had to say.

advice
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About the Creator

Susan F Weimer

I live in a rural area in upstate New York with my fiancé and three dogs. Mine is a simple life filled with simple pleasures.

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