Over the years I have surrounded myself with many different people, along with many different personalities. It seems as though the older I get, the harder it is to meet genuine people. This is a painful process, believe me. Unfortunately it’s just apart of growing up. So far I have compiled an ever growing list of toxic friends that you just simply need to eliminate out of your life. Without further ado here it is:
1) The Deflector
I’m sure we all know someone in our lives that refuses to take any accountability for their actions. They’ll do something that is completely out of line, and say things like, “Well that’s just how I am. You know that.” Or “I can’t help it, I have no filter.” You’ll sit there, frustrated and confused, wondering how someone can be so ignorant and insolent. Unfortunately after multiple conversations with this individual you will never get through to them. You’ve told them how they made you feel, and miraculously, right before your eyes, the problem is now your fault. Rather than sympathizing or feeling remorse, they will instead use your hurt feelings as the root problem itself. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, but I don’t feel guilty for what I did.” At this point it’s time to walk away hun, you’ve done what you can, stop wasting your precious energy on these sad excuses for humans.
2) The friend who only wants to hang out with you when you’re partying
I get it. It’s the weekend, your new favorite DJ is in town, and you wanna have a few drinks with your friends. This is all healthy and normal, but you need to remember that moderation is key. Have you noticed your friend only hits you up when it involves getting intoxicated of some sort? Some may hold onto these friends for quite some time. It's not until you need this friend for emotional support, that you realize this friend isn't genuine. In my experience, the friends who need alcohol or drugs to have a good time are shallow, and lack depth. You may find that when it comes to doing normal activities with these individuals, that you don’t have much in common with them at all. It’s best to keep these friends at a far distance, and maybe even cut them out all together.
3) The arrogant know it all’s
We all know someone who thinks they know everything. They’re a walking encyclopedia, or at least they think they are. Typically people like this can handle it one of two ways: they can be encouraging and humble when bringing on this information, or they can be outright arrogant. They’ll talk down to you, especially after they’ve had a couple drinks. It’s very simple. Cut them out.
4) The friend who does favours for emotional leverage.
This is a tough one. If you’re someone like me who has a fairly high level of trust with their friends, this may make you feel quite blindsided. Obviously we all like to think our friends have our best interest in mind, but unfortunately this isn't always the case. It will start off with small things, but soon it will progress. This person may act very genuine, and seem as though they aren't expecting anything in return, when in reality they’re only using these things to further manipulate you with emotional leverage. They only do these things to make you feel as though you’re emotionally obligated or indebted. You should never have to feel this way with friends. Like any healthy functioning relationship, there needs to be balance and equality. If you are unable to come to this agreement it may be time to walk away.
5) The toxic friend with strings attached
Fortunately I cut this friend out a very long time ago, yet I still think about them now and then. At times you may get close with this person—too close. Before you know it, almost a year flashes before your eyes. At some point you realize that the two of you are clearly not compatible, yet you continue to get emotionally invested. They will degrade you, name call you during sex, and emotionally manipulate you. Sometimes things will even get physical. They’ll tell you that they love you, and they need you in their life, yet they still show zero appreciation for everything you’ve done for them. You’ll try and leave, and they’ll threaten to commit suicide. This friend will drag you to hell and back, draining you of all of the energy you didn't know you even had, but still you stay. Why? Because, despite everything, you love them. It’s time to look in the mirror, that person staring back at you needs love first.
In conclusion these are the five friends that you need to eliminate out of your life. I’m sure many of you have your own ideas as to what makes a good friend, but I can assure you that anyone who possesses these following qualities does not have your best interest at heart. Do yourself the favour, and just walk away.