The 10 Defining Differences Between Dating a Boy vs. Dating a Man

by Delilah Jayde 2 years ago in dating

What is it about bad boys that girls like so much? Read on to find out more.

The 10 Defining Differences Between Dating a Boy vs. Dating a Man
Every young girl has a moment in their lives when the boy she can't stop thinking about calls her very occasionally, spends more time with his friends than with her, and shows very minimal interest. He leaves his hair in a messy mop and acts aloof most of the time, even around his own peers. But whatever prepubescent science it was that kept us wanting more eventually defined us as girls: we were attracted to bad boys. They were adventurous, exciting, and were the life of the party. They were social deviants, doing what they pleased without thought about consequences. Boys were the rebels that girls couldn't be, and we were attracted to what was unattainable to us. If mom said you couldn't have it, it only made you want it even more. But as we grew older, we started dating them, dumping them, getting dumped by them, and repeating the cycle over and over again...until, at some point, we eventually matured, and after what could be a few years to a decade, the games would stop working. Girls who were constantly anxious, insecure, and carrying a low sense of self-worth began using these lessons of picking themselves up after a break up and evolved to become women who began loving themselves, becoming more independent, confident, and able to find their self-worth. In a sense, we finally grew up. As a woman, you are attracted to very different things than you were when you were a girl. Girls like boys and women like men. And while this might not necessarily be referring to age, it certainly refers to maturity; their vision for the future, their defining actions, and their stage in life. Some may even stay in this age and perhaps never take that chance to truly grow up. The same can also be said the other way around: boys will be attracted to girls while men will be attracted to women. Here's the breakdown: If you are a girl, you throw tantrums, expect more than you give, are overrun by insecurities, have a lack of self-respect, are unable to identify with strong life values, and have no set boundaries, then you will only ever attract boys. But if you are a woman, you are respectfully independent, know your self-worth, can control your insecurities within yourself, have a strong moral compass, are selflessly compassionate and are an able communicator; then you should be dating a man.

Here are a few examples of what to look out for. These defining differences should give you an idea of their vast differences.

  1. Men are assertive while boys are passive. A man will know exactly what it is that he wants, will probably plan a route to get there, and focus on consistently achieving it. A boy will think about it for a little bit, maybe try to act on it for a while, if he can. Eventually, the idea will sit in quiet waters in his mind, and he will go back to whatever food or video game he was busy with a minute ago.
  2. Men are confident; boys are prideful. A man might be afraid to put himself out there, but will do it anyways because he knows the benefit of the reward. A boy will be afraid to put himself out there and will most likely back off to save his ego and his pride.
  3. Men plan long term while boys plan short term. A man works on his future and focuses on building an infrastructure for a future career, family, and lifestyle. A boy will be planning which clubs and bars he will hit up this weekend.
  4. Men have integrity while boys continually break promises. He means what he tells you, and sincerely achieves the promises he makes to you. In the off-chance he can't, he won't be afraid to tell you so. Boys will make promises and never actually follow through.
  5. Men look inside; boys look outside. Men will look to date women who are intelligent, can hold a well-versed conversation, are grounded, and have ambitions and similar life goals as he does. Boys look for girls who are exciting, hot, and willing to be wild.
  6. Men are thinkers while boys are inconsistent. Men are able to take the right amount of time to think about who he wants to be, where he wants his life to go, and have a proper vision for his life. Boys are unable to establish what their values and moral compass is, and won't bother considering what his personal values are.
  7. Men are courageous; boys are fearful. Men are honest with their intentions and are unafraid to have difficult discussions with you in order to let you know where he stands. Boys will avoid confrontation and any talk involving feelings. Instead of dealing with any given situation, he would much rather make excuses or create drama in order to divert attention for a quick escape.
  8. Men prioritize life while boys prioritize fun. A man will know how to be social and enjoy himself with friends and family, but is also able to differentiate when he needs to focus on his life goals and achieve success in his career. Boys will put a focus on getting drunk this weekend, and partying again next weekend.
  9. Men are prepared to invest fully, while boys are never ready to invest outside of themselves. Men will be secure enough in themselves to know when they are ready to confidently jump in with both feet first. Boys will never fully commit because they are afraid of not being ready (Spoiler alert: The truth is, he will probably never be ready as long as he stays in this phase).

And the #10 most important point: Men don't play mind games, while boys play many. If you are reading this as a man, I hope that these points will shed some light on how to differentiate yourself between being a boy and being a man. And ladies: this is a great way to evaluate where you are in your life in terms of where you want to be and how you treat yourself, while at the same time making sure that the guys in your life are appropriately categorized as either "boys" or "men." Final thought for the day: The odds will always be in your favor, because you are choosing them. Best of luck out there, folks.

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Delilah Jayde
Delilah Jayde
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Delilah Jayde

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