Thank You for Your Honesty

So often we, as a collective human race, shy away from being completely honest with one another for fear that we will hurt someone in return. In all actuality, not being completely honest is more hindering than being honest. Because you see, in honesty- there is growth. There is opportunity, strength, betterment, teaching moments, laughter, and there is hope.

So to all those who have been truly, and sometimes brutally, honest in my life, thank you.

To the person who told me I had something on my face/my fly was down/ other moments where the only solution was to crawl under a rock; I thank you. Were you my favorite person in that moment? Probably not- but at the same time, you were my hero. You taught me to always double check my outward appearance before I left the house. You taught me the value of first impressions, and also the value of having someone else’s back- even if you don’t know them. You showed me compassion, even if it came naturally to you. Thank you for looking out for me.

To the people who said I couldn’t play with them on the playground. Thanks for paving the way for real friends to take your place, and to accept me no matter what. Maybe I wasn’t the quickest, the most agile, and definitely not the best at basketball- but my other friends saw the good sides of me, and helped me see the value in myself- while letting me appreciate theirs.

and the friends that always told me how it was no matter what – even if I was certain what I was wearing looked great on me (spoiler alert: it did not), or that one more tattoo/piercing/ drink would be a fine idea, or that I definitely SHOULD text my ex to let him know how much I missed him at 2 a.m. And for the better times- when you told me you’d be there for me no matter what, and were. I thank you. I truly hope you know I try my hardest to be 100% honest with you always, even when it’s not easy.

To the guys who just weren’t that into me- especially those super public announcements of this. And the private ones that hurt just a little bit more, too. You opened the door for me to meet many others, including the one who takes up so much of my heart right now. You made me learn to fend for myself, gain independence, and build up courage and self-confidence. While I thought you were knocking me way down, you were really making me build myself up. For that, I thank you.

and to my brothers who told me I could do better whether it was about a boy, school, friends, sports, or just how I was acting- you always wanted the best out of me. You somehow knew I could always dig deeper and be better, try harder and do better, or combine the two to change my attitude around all together. At the time, it may have been annoying or frustrating, or feel like you didn’t care enough- but looking back it is because you care so much more than I will ever know- and just want the best for your little sister, and for that I thank you.

To the colleges and jobs that rejected me- thank you for teaching me to work harder, to pull myself back up and push towards the next best opportunity, and to not let myself be my own worst enemy. It was undoubtedly hard; there were days that the tears and frustration were unmeasurable- but I pushed on, all thanks to you closing a door and making me search for a window. Because of you I have learned, and grown, and learned some more. I have found success in other places, and attribute that to the sting of rejection I received before.

and the ones that accepted me – who let me grow, learn, survive AND thrive within you. That gave me the chance to show you what I was made of and what I could bring to the table, especially when it may not have seemed like I would live up to your expectations. For not giving up on me when I fell short of expectations, and coaching me instead of casting me aside. For showing me my flaws and my strengths, and delivered blows of constructive criticism- I thank you.