Stop Sexualizing Children

Go on social media and you will see innocent photos or videos of young girls and women where there are commenters saying things about the length of their shorts, skirts, or dresses. The "they need to put some more clothes on" comments abound. Something is only sexual when we make it that way. I'm not talking about the shorts where they literally have their butt cheeks hanging out of the shorts or the ones that I have underwear that cover more. I'm talking shorts like gym shorts that are above mid-thigh. Perfectly normal shorts that you can see anyone wearing around. Why do we think young girls or women should have to wear long shorts?

I have a perfect example of what it looks like to not sexualize a young girl. My daughter who is over 18, but looks much younger, went with me to run some errands today. She has a love of all things k-pop and likes to wear similar clothes to her female k-pop idols. She had on some midi shorts, thigh high socks with fashion boots, the type that lace up and tie in the front and come a little ways above the ankle, and a tee shirt. I'm sure some looked at her and felt the socks were too "sexy" and she shouldn't be wearing them, especially with the shorts and boots. However, there was an elderly lady at the store and from behind us we hear: "Those are some cute stockings!". It took a moment for either one of us to realize she was speaking to her. My daughter thanked her and we went on about our day. But it kept sticking in my mind, how this small exchange was how everyone should be. This lady was very easily in her eighties and didn't deem the socks or clothing choice inappropriate, so why should anyone? Then it hit me the difference was this woman wasn't sexualizing my daughter, she merely saw a girl wearing clothes and she thought the socks were cute so she complimented her on them.

My child wasn't someone to be sexualized and neither is anyone else's and if someone is sexualizing them, that is a problem. Obviously we sometimes have to view things from a predator's point of view, but let's be honest here; a predator doesn't care what that child or woman are wearing. We say this about rape victims that are adults, so why are we holding our young girls to a different standard? Why is it different before they become women? They don't blink an eye when the child is on the beach so why is it such an issue if their shorts aren't mid-thigh or knee length? Why do we even teach our daughters that how they dress is somehow a danger to them when we know full well it doesn't matter how they dress, if someone wants to harm them they will do it no matter what they are wearing? Let's stop focusing on what young girls are wearing and focus more on how to recognize and stop predatory behaviors. We need more programs to educate children and parents on what to look out for. Telling young girls they need to wear shorts and skirts to their knees to keep others from looking at them leads to a dangerous narrative. One that can lead to supporting a rape culture that has no place in society. This is one more thing that needs to be shattered to help end rape culture. We can end it by crushing these types of thoughts one at a time until it exists no more. Allow them to embrace their own sense of style and sense of self without shame. If they want to wear long shorts and maxi skirts that's fine, but if they want to wear midi shorts and skirts, then that is also fine. Empower them to be whatever they want to be and let them know if someone assaults them that it wasn't their fault, even if they were wearing short shorts or a short skirt. I hope this has brought a different perspective to those judging girls and women for their choices in clothing. Next time I hope you just see those cute socks, or whatever clothing piece, like the lady at the store today.