Stop Degrading Kind Men by Calling Them Simps

We’re living in very sad times for people are now making fun of those who try to do the right thing.

Chivalry is dead. Gentlemen are no longer in fashion.

We tell boys that real men don’t cry and don’t show emotion. We equate emotions with being weak, which for boys, is a blow to their budding manhood.

We force them to be strong and unemotional and then wonder why more men commit suicide because many of them are too ashamed to seek help. Their ideal of masculinity gets in the way of allowing them to admit their struggles.

Nowadays, women fan over macho men, but as soon as they get into a relationship, they start to complain of being mistreated and not cared for.

They turn down the nice, good one because they deem him too boring and safe, failing to realize that a man who hasn’t learned how to show his emotions usually doesn’t make a great partner in the long run, no matter how swoony he might seem at first.

We need to change our mindset about what kindness is to appreciate those who choose to be kind, who don’t play games, and are true. Games are for little boys. Real men value themselves enough to know their worth and what they want.

I feel sorry for the new generation who is growing up with the false belief that to be a real man, they need to be some insensitive jerk. Having good manners and taking care of women doesn’t mean that these men are ‘simping’, it means they are mature and good people. And that should be the minimum requirements, in my opinion.

Has the bar really gone so low?

With such a toxic mentality, boys grow up being too afraid to show that they care and act like assholes to avoid look like needy simpletons, not realizing they are only being cowards.

It’s disheartening.

We can’t continue to support terms like simping or henpecked. If we want to become a better society, we need to work towards removing the biases we have towards gender attribution and attitudes. Whereas before women faced oppression in different ways that impeded their freedom to pursue careers, and they faced discrimination in the workspace and political sphere, it all started to change when we started to acknowledge that women are as talented and knowledgeable, and capable as any man.

However, by characterizing the women as the weak gender, we also trapped the men into the strong sex. Those who should always be in control and use their power to dominate everyone.

This unhealthy mindset made men afraid of being real with their emotions and ask for help when needed. This vicious cycle caused them to suffer in silence. When you’re expected to be the caregiver, the protector, the one who has to have all the answers, who can you turn to when you’re feeling lost?

A study has shown women now tend to initiate divorce more and even manage to find happiness again after. Men, on the other hand, become lost and depressed and have a hard time bouncing back from a divorce. Feeling alienated and outcast, many of them develop addiction issues and turn to suicide, falsely believing it is the only exit.

I am not saying that men are the victims of a divorce, for we always ought to look at the circumstances, but I want to point out how society’s expectations have trapped men into suppressing their emotions, for fear of looking weak.

If we want the men to be emotionally stable and feel confident, please let them be what they are: human beings. With qualities and flaws. With good days and bad days. With moments of strength and weakness. Just like women. Just like everyone else.

Let’s encourage kindness to be the norm where we are no longer afraid to show our true feelings, and where we shun callousness and cruelty. Let’s stop humiliating others to make ourselves feel better, and make fun of those who dare to try because we ourselves are too scared to do it.

Let’s use our envy of those who are not afraid of being themselves to turn it into a positive thing by being inspired by their bravery and try to replicate it.

By breaking down all the stereotypical expectations, we can start building strong and meaningful relationships where men are not afraid to express themselves truly, and maybe we’ll have fewer women complain about emotionally unavailable men.

Again, this goes for both gender, as there are women who are also emotionally unavailable, and many times, the reason can be related to traumas or trust issues, but I am talking more specifically about those men who feel that they have to play the card of the distant and mysterious bloke just to keep a woman interested.

I would like to clarify that this article is a personal observation and is specifically meant for heterosexual relationships between cisgender males and females, for I am a cisgender woman myself, and thus, I cannot claim that the dynamics in other relationships are the same.

I am only sharing my personal thoughts and what I find unhealthy in relationships these days.

Thank you for reading.

Bahora Saitova