Stepping Out of the Friendzone

Nearly everyone's been in it and as much as everyone wants to deny it, it hurts a lot. That's right, I'm talking about being in the friendzone. Crushing or even falling for your friend/best friend is probably either the best thing or the worst thing, it really depends on their feelings about you. The terrifying realization that the feelings you have for your friend is more than just friendly usually comes in rather late. So I'm here with ways to help you get over those pesky feelings and out of the friendzone (not in this particular order).

1. Accept Your Feelings

When you're in the friendzone, you're going to keep on trying to convince yourself that your feelings are purely platonic. Trust me when I say that it's never going to work, sometimes it makes things even worst and you either end up saying or doing something stupid or it just ends out being obvious as day. Accepting your feelings is the first step of letting go, once you know how screwed you are you'll know how to handle it better.

2. Distract Yourself With Other Means

Try to find a new hobby or maybe write a novel or something, maybe make that 1000+ piece puzzle or learn a new language or instrument. Distract yourself the best way you could. If you're distracted then it gives you less time to think about them. The less you think about them, the less painful it will be and it will maybe help fade out the feelings

3. Weigh In The Consequences

Think about what will happen if you try to turn your friendship into something more. Think about your history with them. Is confessing feelings that might be unrequited really worth losing them as a friend? If things don't work out your friendship that started out as the base of your relationship might suffer or even end as a result. If you truly care about that person you've fallen for, think about whether you're willing to take the chance

4. Decide What You Really Want

Think about the base and nature of your desire. Do you really have feelings for that person or is it because they're attractive? There's a line between lust and love, a line that's thin and sometimes some people can't even see it. Sometimes the feelings come from the idea of them, when you find a friend who's perfect for you in terms of intelligence, interests, and attitude. They seem perfect in your eyes, perfect to you and for you, it could blind you from the reality of who they truly are. You have to know whether you're falling for the idea of them or is it really just them. Also please don't just have a crush on someone just because they remind you of your ex. That is one of the worst reasons to ever like anyone.

5. Discuss About This With Mutual Friends

In this matter, it's best to consult with mutual friends, even better if you have mutual best friends. Through this way they could help you figure out whether your feelings are requited or not. They usually give wonderful insight into the mind sight of your interest. They could help you figure out whether pursuing a romantic relationship is a good idea or would it put your friendship to an end.

6. Making Sure The Timing Is Right

Whether you decide to take the direct approach or the indirect approach, never spill your thoughts out of the blue - It will only cause further embarrassment. Instead, wait till you're alone so you could talk openly without the embarrassment nor the distractions. Also consider the state of your friend. Avoid confessing during stressful times in their lives or after they just got out of a longterm relationship. Even though the window is open, it's not wise to jump straight into it.

7. Just... Confess

This is the hardest and most nerve-wrecking part. Confessing to your friend that the feeling you have is more than platonic. Most of the times, it's better to just confess rather than bottle it up, hurting you even more. Confessing is important because that way you could either let go or it might be the start of something beautiful. I've heard many stories from a large variety of friendzoned friends and sometimes a rejection after a confession is the best way to build you character. It's a great way to become stronger. If your feelings are requited then congratulations you're out of the goddamn friendzone.

8. Move On and Find Someone Else

If you've confessed and it's unrequited then moving on is the best step. No more daydreaming or speculating about their actions and feelings. Accept that they don't like you the same way then move on. It's honestly easier said than done, especially if you've fallen hard, but as time passes then so will the pain. You'll slowly start to see them the way they were once more, just a friend. To help the process of moving on, find someone else who attracts your interest. It could be anyone from someone you know to a celebrity or maybe even a fictional/imaginary person. Direct your feelings to that other someone so your feelings for your friend will shimmer down to almost nothing but friendly.

And that's my eight tips on escaping the friendzone. I have no guarantee these will work but it should work because these are general tips and facts. I myself have never tried any of these since I value my friendships too much to confess. I'm already grateful they're in my life so I don't see the point of ruining a perfectly good friendship for definitely unrequited feelings. I rather hurt myself than lose them.

I hope these tips could help you get out of the friendzone. Stay tuned next time for more tips, tricks, and send in some questions if you need me for relationship advice!

BONUS TIP

-1. FIND ANOTHER ZONE

Out of all the zones you chose to be in, why the friendzone? Find another zone to be in, maybe the ZEE /EEZ (Exclusive Economy Zone) or maybe a new Time Zone. Just look for another less painful and maybe more informative/educative zone to be in rather than the friendzone. It's much less mainstream and much better because being in those zones are good in terms of experience or intelligence.