Have you ever had a stalker? I have. Most stalkers I have had were familiar faces, unfortunately. But the upside is that I know I am safe—which isn't something most of us that are a victim of the heinous act can say. Stalkers can come in many forms. It could be cyber-stalkers, on-foot stalkers (hopefully no one has any of these, but sadly there are), and even stalkers who can't get to you, so they go through someone else.
Story time! Back in the "good 'ole days" (2016), I had been dating a boy for about four years. The first couple of years were okay, then eventually he showed his dark side and abusive behaviors had taken over. I couldn't deal anymore! So I left. Like I actually left. My best friend Annie and I (in 2017) joined a summer camp in North Carolina so we could be counselors and watch the kids. I had to literally travel out of the state of Kentucky so I would feel safe. He did not like how I was going to leave, but I left. I had to. I felt trapped and so insecure. The pain was just too unbearable. During that summer, I grew as a person, and grew away from him and realized his behavior was definitely not okay. I made a couple of friends at this summer camp (SHOUT OUT TO CAMP ROCKFISH!) that helped me through the healing process. I was very blessed; on top of it all, I was also exploring another part of the world. I was barely even on social media and I had a break from so much!
But once I got back to Kentucky/returned home, my abusive ex-boyfriend then decided to stalk me and continue more inappropriate behavior. He cut the key in half to my bicycle that I had chained to the bike racks at Asbury University! It was a spare key, but I needed it because I had lost my other one. I asked for it back and he sent me a picture of it cut. I had to get his grandfather's help; we couldn't even succeed at removing the lock! At the end of the semester, I ended up asking security if they could remove it.
Another thing that was iffy was how he hacked my Facebook profile; he ended up deleting all my albums and pictures, as well as putting humiliating information out. I finally regained control, but then my messenger was hacked! Suddenly, he messaged me from his to tell me how "crappy" of a person I was for all he found in my inbox. BOY WE WERE OVER! He then would play games with me like telling me to set him up with other women or whatnot. I tried ignoring him, blocking him, and everything. I had to threaten him with a restraining order.
Fast forward... in July 2018, his new girlfriend decided to start the stalking fiasco back up. She "laugh" reacted on Facebook to all of my posts regarding domestic violence and subjects related. I was highly upset! So I took it upon myself to give her my two cents... only to be blocked shortly after. I thought that was hilarious. A couple of days later I see him viewing my Instagram stories, proof he was not finished with whatever his agenda was, or may be. I blocked him, he made another account. I thought to myself that I ought to make my profiles private, so I did. Eventually, he started following all my friends and people who had connections with me. How crazy are you to do that???
Today, I found him, once again, doing what he did in the past. I was snooping one of my best friend's Instagram and her followers. As I scrolled, he popped up (also, DUDE. CHANGE YOUR HANDLE. IT'S SO LAME) and my anxiety was shaken. I told her about it and of course she didn't know him—thank the heavens.
Yeah, my Instagram is public now. I feel like I shouldn't have to go to great lengths to hide. Parts of me want him to see how well I am better off, but other parts want me to crawl in a hole and forget about all of this.
Anyways, be careful out there. You never know who you're "falling in love with."
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