Socio-Malignant Behaviour and it’s aftermath

A long time ago, I read a book called the Celestine Prophecy. I highly recommend it to all human beings.

Our current society is riddled with abuse and toxic behaviour. It is a mark of trauma un-healed, or worse completely un-addressed. The can of worms most would prefer to leave on the counter beside the can opener. Better yet, at the very back of the pantry.

As a survivor, I have taken a journey of healing and self knowledge that has helped me to address all the bad feelings that were the result of the many traumas I have faced.

To learn why offenders do what they do. To learn how others have gone on with their lives in a good way despite being hurt, while others prefer to spread their pain around, has been a subject of research that has never faded away for me. Here is a link to a story I wrote about energy healing.

Understanding generational trauma is a major key to progress. Knowing what was faced and overcome, or not, by those that came before me. In this I have realized how deeply important the work of healing really is, on all levels. The work I do, or do not do, inevitably left for my descendants, and everyone after me.

There are many questions still to be answered, as we navigate one of the last densities of the societal paradigm of violence, separation and war.

The Phrase

“hurt people, hurt people”

has come up many times through council, and workshops for dealing with trauma/the traumatized. This didn’t sit well, as a hurt person, the last thing I have ever wanted to do is hurt anyone. Still, part of me knew that I had felt like lashing out, but would always come back to that place of awareness that said, how is that going to make any of this better?

Today, bullying, unkindness and aggression are addressed from an early age. We all want to raise intelligent highly evolved little people that have deep foundations of love. We want an end to trauma, in so much as we can control it. The bottom line is, be good to each other, lift each other up. One doesnt have to be the whipping boy, or girl for others to have a happy, successful lives.

As a women in this world, an awkward, hyper-intelligent, bookworm with thick glasses and thick thighs, I have been the subject of intent for more than one bully in my time. Nothing new there.

I was told though, that as I approached adulthood this would cease to be an issue because the bullying behaviour was purely caused by immaturity.

This is a lie.

It does change form, becomes less overt and much more veiled and insidious. It gets cloaked in “just kidding” “lighten up” “or you take things to seriously” or to the darker end of the escalated trauma cycles. Like dicatatorship and genocide.

When I face a bully now, in my adulthood, I am still shocked that adults have not grown to the point where this behaviour has been outgrown. Still, I always approach it the same way. Why might this person want to make me feel like a bag of excrement? There are always a plethora of answers that fly into my mind.

Part of me is truly compassionate to the pain that causes people to hurt others, and part of me has just gotten so fed up with it. It’s so boring and wasteful of energy. Granted we can all un-intentionally hurt someone, it’s part of life. It’s the unabashed, direct, planned, and executed type of bullying that I am referring to.

I have mostly retreated into hermitage socially as a result. I have wonderful intelligent friends whom I seek out time with, but for the most part I stay away from the potential for power drama with other adults. Praying for their healing and addressing the situation from far far away. I often wonder to what degree the bully is aware of their un-healed issues, and to what degree they have actually come to enjoy the toxic feelings they so freely exude onto others.

I must admit that I have revenge fantasies, moments of imaginary come backs, that result in the waking or growth of any given bully. They remain in my imagination, where they belong.

It’s not my job to heal anyone but myself. Also, to teach my children that bad things happen, but you don’t have to become a bad person because of them. In fact, the rewards are exponential, they increase and double as each trauma is released, as each wound is tended. That can of worms is VERY worth opening, they will turn all your pain into soil you can plant the seeds of your dreams within.

Next time someone annoys you, insults you, or attempts to make you shrink away, step outside yourself and look again, you will undoubtedly see a terrified and wounded little one that just wants to be something like you.

To All the Bullies I send you a massive wave of love and acceptance. I hope you can re connect with your sacredness and the sacredness of all life on Earth and throughout the galaxies.

Human Beings have a potential that is Cosmically important. I know it doesn’t always feel like what we do, say, and share has any weight, but you would be 1000% wrong.

Through this last year, we have been truly tested and pushed to the brink of our tolerances of our freedoms being removed. It is enough to drive anyone off the deep end. Just remember there are people out there that have not come out of the deep end, possibly since birth. Acknowledge this and do the work in yourself to stop treading water and get some earth beneath your feet. Then, whenever the opportunity presents itself, reach out and help someone else get the ground under their own feet.

We are all immeasurably wonderful and bursting with potential. I find that beautiful, not threatening. I find that tragic, not disgusting, and I find that honest not illusory.

Here is an article I wrote in honour of my Dad, who took his own life as a result of political level bullying.

Mark Wareing

July 6 1946-April 16 1996