Social Media is the Culprit of Humanity

Heads bowed down, hands mirrored in unison, concentration not broken - no kids, I’m not talking about the Catholics kneeling in church. I’m referring to you, sitting on your phone. Oddly enough this soliloquy is being written by myself, a millennial and former social media/never-being-detached-from-my-phone addict. I too remember the never-ending and constant yearning of checking if Kim Kardashian really named her baby after a direction or congratulating Veronica (some girl I barely talked to from my 1st grade art class) and her engagement announcement. Even if I was in the middle of an in-person conversation, my mind would immediately falter when I heard the familiar ping of a notification. It was the same when I felt the buzz of my phone’s vibration - all concentration ceased to exist.

As a 22-year-old, I didn’t quite imagine my life without social media. It was an amazing tool for me to learn new things, share my life, communicate with friends and family; the list could continue on. Not until I lost a friend, did I even consider EVER not replying to my DMs or posting a funny video with my sister on my profile. Little did I know, this life change was all it took.

Now when I say losing a friend I don’t mean to death, as they are very much alive. My loss just meant they are no longer present in my life. Skipping the details of the situation, this loss in my life was probably one of the most difficult I have come across. From sharing every moment with another person to not sharing even a single word with them took my whole being by surprise and, knowing that they were still around, redefined the feeling of hurt.

I thought movies over-exaggerated break-ups and that a broken heart was just a metaphor. Lord, I never thought that I could experience those feelings over nothing more than a friendship, but again I was wrong. Having previous but controlled struggles with my mental health, I spiraled quickly into an out-of-control behavior. I stopped listening to music, which has always given me strength. I stopped communicating with my family, which is something I never do. All of this, coupled with the pain of seeing my now non-existent friend sharing their time with others, caused me to delete all social media apps off of my phone.

To a mere outsider, this may seem like a dramatic reaction to the end of a friendship, but I am not here to convince you that it is not. I am here, writing diligently to convince you that not being on social media has had nothing but a positive impact on my life. After about 6 months of being in a very scary place in my life, I finally began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. With a shout out to self-care, my current friends and family, and of course medical professionals that channel their life working towards mental illness, I began to unturn the stone of my now changed life. As I returned to my previous tendencies in life and started to enjoy things that I did not dare try for a long time, I found myself thinking about re-downloading social media.

And that is precisely what I did……in the middle of the night, at 2 a.m. One of the first posts that came up, was one of my now ex-best friend. Immediately my mind began to turn, and to say I did not get any sleep that night would be an understatement.

But you could just delete that person and move on with your life, you say? Well yes, perhaps I could. However, I then realized that not only did their post upset me but as I scrolled through my feed, I found that I had a thought, opinion, or reaction to every post I saw. Whether it was made by my friend-no-more to even dear old Veronica, I was bothered. Or, how the kids say, I was triggered. I realized that this immediate reaction I emitted was due to my tendency of comparison, negativity, and self-doubt, and I needed to remove myself from that environment. That is why the next morning I was hovering my thumb over the jiggling app on my phone screen and asking myself again in my head, “Is this really what you want?”.

Over the next 6 months I reinstalled and then deleted my social media apps a countless amount of times and consistently came across the same feelings. A culmination of anxiety, anger, and stress would always be the second act of the show with the ultimate finale being a jiggling app with the warning that, “Deleting this app will also delete it’s data”. One morning, a bright and regular day in the year now 2020, I headed to the app store one last time. After downloading and ignoring all of the notifications that I saw, I went to the settings tab and after being asked, “Why are you deleting your account?”, I answered with, “For a more peaceful life”. I exited stage right by clicking the big red, “Permanently delete” button.

I am fully aware that as a millennial just within my lifetime, social media and technology has come a tremendous way. These developments have not only drastically changed from the time my parents were born but even just from the time that I was born. Humans can utilize platforms of social media not only to communicate but to create, build community, laugh, cry, learn, and so much more. I don’t stand by the idea that everyone should delete their social media and that it is a travesty if you do not. What I do stand by is doing what is right for yourself. If you thrive from posting photos, creating funny memes, or staying up all night watching videos then by all means, continue. However, I am encouraging for us as a society to take a step back, and realize where our roots come from. We come from communication through speech, emoting feelings through situations, and sharing ourselves with one another in person. Remembering the importance of human interaction and communication not behind a screen is what I believe is important. If we cannot return to at least partial candid interaction, we will be deprived of the beautiful truth that is humanity.