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Signs Your Partner Is Attracted To Someone Else

by Leonora Watkins 9 days ago in advice

Whether they’ve acted on it or not

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

I personally don’t think there’s any such thing as an innocent crush when you’re in a relationship. That’s just me and maybe I’m overreacting but I think crushes mean you’re actively looking at other people and evaluating how attractive they are.

And being with a partner who you know is attracted to other people is hard. It makes you feel second best. Like they’ve settled for you because they can’t have who they really want.

But how are you supposed to know if your partner is attracted to someone else?

They Talk About Them A Lot

If they’ve got a serious case of mentionitis then it’s always a reliable indicator that they’re attracted to someone. You’d think they’d be smart enough to keep their mouths shut about it, but they’re not. Sometimes the overwhelming attraction just gets too much and they have to talk about them. Constantly.

When they talk about this person like they’re the greatest most beautiful human being on the planet it makes you want to lose your shit. And that’s understandable.

You can try talking to them about it, I doubt you’ll get much out of them other than an argument but it’s worth a try.

They’re Cold And Distant

They feel a mixture of guilt and frustration about being attracted to someone else. They know they shouldn’t be because they’re with you. And they’re frustrated because they can’t be with that person. This translates into distant, often cold behavior towards you.

We take our emotions out on the people closest to us. We shouldn’t, but it’s human nature so we do.

By Paul Gilmore on Unsplash

They Don’t Compliment You As Much Anymore

I don’t want to be brutal but it’s going to sound bad. It’s because they’re not as attracted to you as they used to be. If they used to tell you nice things all the time then suddenly they stop then it seems hurtful. Combined with the rest of these things it’s a sign that they’re just not feeling the same about you anymore.

Change In Routine

Volunteering to spend extra time somewhere? Always staying late at work? Constantly out with one particular friend? It could be innocent, but if you’re suspicious then you’ve obviously got your reasons why.

Change In Personal Habits

If someone suddenly starts doing things differently it makes us suspicious. Whether someone’s working out more, wearing different clothes, more or less makeup. We ask why, what’s the motivation behind this sudden change? Who are they doing it for? Who are they trying to impress?

They’re Annoyed By Someone’s Partner

If they talk shit about that person’s partner or anyone significant in their life then there’s a problem. Especially if they barely know the partner. This one’s psychologically simple, it’s jealousy. They’re jealous of someone being such a huge factor in that person’s life because it’s making them feel less significant.

Image by Kristin Baldeschwiler from Pixabay

They’re Annoyed By You

They’re bursting with frustration so they’re taking it out on you. Couples argue, but if they’re always picking at things you do then it’s time to act.

They’re Talking To You Less

Because they’re preoccupied and conflicted. They’re feeling the guilt and frustration mentioned earlier so they don’t know how to open up as much.

Another reason is that they could be sharing all of those little details with someone else, so they don’t need to talk about it anymore. Either way, I’m afraid it’s not a good sign.

They’re Trying To Style You Like Them

I’ve had this happen to me and it made me feel physically sick. But you know what that person looks like. So if they’re trying to nudge you towards looking like them then you need to run. Run far, run fast, and never look back.

I didn’t and it was the single most toxic relationship I’ve ever had in my life.

It Could Be Nothing

These things might be innocent, they might not be. You know your partner and your circumstances. So trust your instincts and know your worth.

advice
Leonora Watkins
Leonora Watkins
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Leonora Watkins

A qualified counsellor and an even more qualified queer. I specialise in victims of rape and sexual assault. I also have a degree in behaviour analysis.

See all posts by Leonora Watkins

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