They say college is the time of your life that you should experiment, but for James, it was during his time in high school. After being in a relationship with a girl for over three years, it was time for James to be his true self. He remembers it like it was yesterday... his first attempt at dating a guy.
"Hey, James!" Britney screamed as she got onto the school bus and slid into the seat beside James. Luckily for them, their bus stops were only two blocks apart. James forced half a smile as Britney took her seat beside him before quickly leaning over and whispering softly into her ear.
"I think I'm gay. Do you see the guy in the back of the bus with the blue jacket... I think he might be gay as well."
Britney turned ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of the guy who James was pointing at. He sat at the end of the bus dressed in all blue, and his black hair sparkled in the sunlight as the bus drove eastwards towards the schools.
"Well then maybe you should ask him out," Britney whispered back, eagerly.
Daniel (the kid in blue) was from a different high school and the only chance for James to ask him was either in the morning when they waited for their bus, or right after school when they caught the bus home. Ironically, Daniel always seemed to ask for a cigarette from James in the morning and right after they got off the bus in the evening, but because James found him so attractive he was always terrified of talking to Daniel directly, but all that was about to change. He explained the situation to Britney in a quiet whisper as the bus came to a stop at Daniel's school.
"Maybe you should write him a note... you know something simple like: are you gay, yes or no?" Britney suggested as the two of them watched as Daniel got off the bus and headed into class. After discussing it for a bit they both agreed that the best solution was to write the note and hand it to Daniel when he gets back on the bus at the end of the day, for you see, the bus went the opposite way at the end of the day.
After a long day of classes, it was finally time. Britney quickly wrote the note and handed it off to James as they ran through the rain for their bus. As the two of them climbed onto the bus James started to feel nervous... he had never done anything like this before and he was terrified of what might happen. For at that time it wasn't uncommon for guys to harass and bully one another for being gay.
"You can do it! I got your back no matter what happens." Britney exclaimed as she hugged James tightly. James swallowed the lump that was building up as the bus came to a stop at Daniel's school. As Daniel walked past, James reached out his hand and casually handed him the note. He took it without question and continued his way back to the back of the bus.
As Britney prepared herself for her stop, she quickly hugged James and ran to the back of the bus to retrieve the note that Daniel was holding out to her. As she passed her way back past James she quickly through the note into his lap and crossed her fingers, "Text me later."
James filled with excitement and nervousness shook as he unwrapped the crumbled up note, and to his surprise, Daniel had written... "I'm bisexual." James couldn't help but smile, because now knowing that he stood a chance, his nerves were quickly disappearing, and as the two of them crawled out of the bus and out into the street James threw his trench coat high above his head to block out the rain.
"Do you want a cigarette, Daniel?" James asked nervously, as Daniel started to walk away. Daniel smiled and quickly came to stand under the safety of James trench coat. James smiled as he came in closer and lit Daniel's cigarette for him.
"So... are you single Daniel?" James asked nervously as the two of them stood there together while the rain continued to fall overhead.
"I am... why... are you interested in me?" Daniel whispered as he took a drag off his cigarette. James smirked as he stared into Daniel's beautiful blue eyes. Of course he was interested, he had the hots for this guy for months now. He shook his head yes and smiled shyly. Daniel smiled back and whispered softly, "I've been interested in you as well," as he leaned in and slowly kissed James. It was a kiss like no other... it was like something out of a fairy tale. Standing in the pouring rain, kissing softly and slowly under the shelter of a simple coat. It was a kiss that James would never forget.
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months... their relationship was like one of those cheesy, gross romantic movies where James would lift Daniel up and place him on the kitchen counter to give him sweet kisses while no one was looking, and holding hands while they laid in bed after class watching movies together.
"I think I'm falling in love with you," James whispered one day, while Daniel sat on the counter holding James by the waist. Daniel smiled and leaned in for another kiss, "I think I love you, too," he whispered back. Unfortunately, like a lot of first loves it wasn't meant to last... it wasn't because they didn't try... it was because of their age and how people treated gay men at the time.
"You need to stop dating my brother... he is not gay you fuckin' faggot!" Casper screamed at James as he shoved him off the walkway where James and his friends were having a smoke during their lunch break.
"You can't tell me what to do," James screamed back. He was pissed... he couldn't believe anyone would threaten him over a relationship... over who he had fallen in love with.
"You better stay away from him, James, or I'll beat the living shit out of you," Casper responded back, shoving James once again. "And besides, I already told him to stay away from you."
James was crashed... it was true... later that day when Daniel got onto the bus he passed James without a single word. Nor did he stay at the bus stop for their usual smoke together. It was the last time James and Daniel ever saw each other, for after that day, Daniel started to take the city bus with his brother to avoid James at all cost. James never saw Daniel ever again, nor did he ever hear what had become of him over the years, but he never forgot their time together and how much each one had cared for one another.