Save The Titles For The End

NOTE: While I do my best to write each word from as honest a place as possible, the overall direction of the whole may shift to and fro as I go along. My desire is that what I say captures my intentions perfectly, of course, but I cannot promise, either you or myself, that the end result falls in line with that. However, if something I say rings true for you, and so assists you positively in whatever way you deem fit to help you in improving your life experience, it's potential progress. \m/, B']

Hello!

I am, once again, on the road to a new full-time job, and am reassessing--or trying to, at least--my options.

Unfortunately, as you may well know, falling neatly into a position that perfectly aligns with your passions and financial obligations (perhaps among other things) is generally unheard of. I could be mistaken about the specific odds, of course, but I'm confident that there is far too much going on in this world to allow us the ease of natural footing that would support this.

Nevertheless, opportunities await in grand supply if you know where to find them. The troubles with claiming them, evidently, revolve around far too many options to sift through, far too many haystacks to assess, and far too many fellow individuals caught up in the storm.

(Is this true?: Life is a turbulent sea upon which we journey, coasting and manning as our boats are modified and tested.)

After all, regardless of what you have come to own, you have always had the choice to accept the details or reject them--that goes for everything in your life. That is not without the understanding that emotions and the like stand in the way. However, they only amount to surface tensions in the end.

In essence, it is, perhaps, the framework of things that needs to be paid attention to. Using my imagination, I suppose you could see it as impedance matching between paradigms. Or, attempting to interpret the concept more simply: it is like owning your place on the canvas. (Maybe. It's an attempt, and, like I said, is at least potential progress.)

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I have worked as an assembler of electronic systems--I have worked in the restaurant industry as a dishwasher, host, partner, and busser--I have worked in hotel convention services--I have worked in retail stocking--

However, if anything, I have put time in those jobs for the people that I can laugh and tease, and the women I admire. I have no aspirations of sitting at a desk and doing perhaps "menial" work. I am a creative, and my being believes in the charisma of such things. I believe living is in the heart, and even the mind. It is the joy we hold within, and the joy we manifest together.

I have never been a cashier, though, because that is an extremely daunting concept for me. I have been blessed with so many people in my life who I can be honest with--verbally, intellectually, etc. I don't like meeting people who I will never see again. Life is a closed loop of possibility, as far as we know, and we need to spend time with those we meet and care about, because it is the only time we have together. As far as we know. So that is perhaps one reason why I don't take such work.

Because I have pretty much always flown solo--despite being familiar with a lot of people along the way--I have always stuck "close to home", so to speak, and have cultivated (or at least been open to) "relationships" with those even in places I don't give the first damn about (as far as their themes or unique concepts are concerned...yes, I mean you, country music...I really don't like you, and I never have).

I go for the people. Unfortunately, I wasted my 20's never going to a club that played 80s music or 90s. I was always too afraid of missing out at the place I nestled in to, and had always been afraid of dealing with aggressive people or hurting peoples feelings in the process.

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Emotional play is a beautiful thing. Music can take you so many places--winding through your thoughts, your memories, your moments of sensory input. The pains that churn your heart and release your tears, and the beauties that do the same. With those I love in my life and in my heart, and music and ideas and humor and laughter and sharing and the rest, I have lived a full life so far. Though I have yet missed out on so much.