Respect Your Relationship
No matter what, learn how to show respect if you want to get it back...
When you are in a relationship, you have to learn that if you want respect from your partner, you have to give it first. If they take your respect and throw it away, then it was something they were either not use to getting or didn't know how to handle you in the first place. Now I'm no relationship expert or anything like that so you don't have to take my advice. However, you can read my story and my life as it is now.
I have 2 boys from a previous relationship. They are growing and getting involved in more stuff like sports and now tutoring has been added to the schedule. They live with their dad and his girlfriend in the next city over so rarely do I get a chance to see them simply because my work schedule and their crazy schedule with sports will sometimes make the drive not worthwhile. Their dad and I have a cordial relationship. No, we will never be in a relationship again but we will always remain polite and adult in front of the children. We have to work on our communication for sure but other than that, we get along just fine for the most part.
Now here is the twist in that. We both moved on and got into other relationships over time and yes, I've hated his girlfriend and he hates my current situation but oh well right? This past week the boys had doctors appointments that I said I would take them to. I had already arranged to be off work in enough time to make sure that they were checked out of school in enough time and that we made it back into town for the time of the appointments. When they were all over with, I took the boys to my parent's house to cook a little something before they went off to tutoring and stuff that evening. I talked with their dad while they were outside playing and he had said that he would be able to just pick up the boys from my mom's house before it was time to get them to the activities of the evening. He works a late job that sometimes requires him to work really late hours. He called me back around 30 minutes before they needed to be at the office and said he was stuck at work and asked me if we (my boyfriend and I) could just drop the boys off at his job and he would be able to get them there from that point. I said sure no problem, give me about 10 minutes to get them together and we shall head that way!
At that moment, all hell broke free to attack whatever was in its path. My boyfriend of almost 4 years lost it with me. He was upset that I agreed to take my kids to their dad last minute. I didn't care what he thought because, at the end of the day, he doesn't have any of his own children so he has no clue what it's like to co-parent and have to make those random sacrifices in a split second. To me, it wasn't a sacrifice. It was just a little bit more time with my little people close to me that I needed to push through this week. He thinks that I don't have the backbone to be able to tell my ex no at times when he makes those changes in what was planned. I think he should just shut up and sit back for the ride.
Once we got the kids off to their dad and started on our way home, he started going off on me saying that I didn't consider him in that and a bunch of extra crap. I told him that at the end of the day, the kids were going where I took them and that was that. Not like we could change what happened in the past 15 minutes. It was over and done so get over it. I was considering stopping to get gas before we got on the main road. I hate trying to pull out and gain super fast speed in front of the semi trucks that are doing 80 already. As I attempted to pull over into a location I knew I could get gas for cheap, he said no! Don't pull over, you weren't worried about gas when you came this way to do something he should have figured out instead of you. I said you know what, bet! Thinking to myself the remainder of the drive, you are going to need me in 2.5 seconds. Just keep running your mouth.
We made it onto the main road and there was one last gas station before we crossed into the next county. He looks and says pull into this one so we can get gas. Mentally I was like oh so now you want to get something that I could have gotten 7 miles back the other way. It's annoying to me that he doesn't respect my choices but wants me to respect and support him. It's a 2 way street in this when it comes to respect. You have to give it to get it. I'm tired of giving it and not getting anything but harsh criticism and rude terms every other time I turn around. We are both too old for that. Either you want this to work and you know how to respect our relationship or you don't. Either way, unless you change for the better and soon, I can't keep fighting for something that I know I can do better off without.