Remembering The Kind Strangers

Interactions happen everyday, it's rare that there are those certain individuals that take their interactions to extend that snippet of time into a moment without a time limit depending on what has happened. It's in human nature to wonder why something has happened, what was the cause of it? How can there be help? It's a conflicting feeling to take that interaction to a personal and causal level, to decide to put their tasks on hold to offer comfort or encouragement to a sad stranger.

I have two stories of two strangers that have no idea that what they did has been an impact on my timeline. It's given me hope to remember that there are good people in the world that will be a selfless stranger and help out what hurt me.

Sophomore Year of High School ,2011

My tenth grade year was the worst year I had in high school.

I remember being upset about my constant failings in math class, I remember going to my third period English class with uncontrollable sobbing because of how much I was suffering in this subject. I kept failing my tests and couldn't understand my assignments, I did everything I could to make a good grade, but I was out of steam by January.

As soon as I sat down at my desk, I tried to hide behind my curtain of long brown hair, so my friends and classmates could not see that I was upset. I don't like having attention called onto me; I knew that if I could just control the hiccups, keep my head down long enough for my tears to stop tracing my face, I could get through the rest of the day. It was the third period, I could get through two and half more hours. But the turmoil I felt was too much and I couldn't stop. My friend saw the teardrops on my desk, and my teacher was nearby and they both took me outside to see what was wrong. I confessed that I was struggling in math class and I was tired of trying to keep going.

In my school days, I had to have a IEP (Individual Education Program), to help me get through my classes. But even with that extra help for understanding a subject with one-on-one testing, it didn't matter, the certain subjects still got to my psyche. It's just a tough slice of life about the struggle with school, that I would always struggle with understanding my subjects.

I remember my English teacher giving me a hug and telling me about various after school programs I could do to get help. But I didn't want help, I just wanted to give up.

Then there was this guy, I could tell it was a guy because of his voice. He came over to what was happening, I felt him put his hand on my shoulder, and he asked me what was wrong. I was so emotionally uncontrolled that I blurted out that I was not doing good in math. Thinking on that day, all I can think of as to why he intervened was that he might have been a student of my teacher as to why he was comfortable coming over.

He told me that it would be OK, and he gently rubbed my shoulder. My eyes were blurred by tears, and my head was down in that moment that I couldn't see the face of this stranger who selflessly decided to try and help. All I can recall was he had black skater shoes on and black shorts, I never looked up to see his face. But I still remember he didn't take his hand off of my shoulder, as if it kept me standing.

I was told by my teacher to go to the restroom to wash my face, and to take my time coming back to class until I was calm. I remember the stranger took his hand off his shoulder as soon as I blindly turned around to navigate to the restroom; my friend in step with me to make sure I got there.

I'll never know if that young man had asked my teacher what was going on or if he asked what my name was. I'll never know if I secretly passed by him in the hallway for the remaining two years of high school. But it was the kindest act that I remember happening in my rough four years of high school.

May 3rd 2019

This was a terrible coincidence that happened to me. I remember this exact date because it was a week after my birthday.

I have struggled with maintaining friendships throughout my life, I'm the one that usually has to do most of the work for them, and it is exausting having to be the one to keep them up. I found these two amazing friends that I vibed with very well. Within a couple months, all three of us would meet for dinner, and talk about writing or TV shows. I was so happy that there was something regular going on, they told me about an outdoor concert to meet with them at, and if the music was good, then that would be a regular plan for the summer.

The day of the outdoor concert came, I was dressed up in the style of Lana Del Rey with a big posh pompadour and wild waves in my hair, I had a magenta dress on with matching magenta high heel shoes. I had my Polaroid camera with me to take some photos of the event, and get to have a Polaroid selfie with them to mark the beginning of adventures to come.

But it turns out the adventure was over before it could have officially begun.

For the sake of this story, I'm only going to be referring them by their genders. One is a girl and one is a guy. They arrived a little late to the outdoor concert, I could tell something was off, when the girl arrived, she was uncomfortable. She left me and the guy friend sitting in the lounge area, I decided to ask what was going on.

The guy turned to me, very concerned and conflicted as he carefully told me what was going on-

He said, "Listen, you know a guy named ___?"

I was baffled of the mentioning of a person I knew for a short amount of time a couple months ago, but I answered the question, "Yes."

"And you went out on a date with him?"

"Yes?" I answered with a question, I was concerned and confused as to why a date I went on months ago had to do with what was happening, and how it was connected. "Yes, I went on one date with him."

"That's her brother, and he's heartbroken that we're hanging out with you because you hurt his feelings, and apparently there was a relationship, and he really liked you, we found all of this out last night." The guy friend said it in a way that wasn't assumptive, but direct to address that this is going to change things.

I couldn't believe what happened, a man I went on one date with months ago was brother of my friend and he lied about us having a relationship. He ruined these chances for me to have them as friends because I didn't want a relationship with him. I felt my heart sink and shatter that another friendship was over because of the sabotage done from someone else. I wish I could say that this isn't a frequent fracture that happens in my life, but unfortunately it does. Unfortunately, the coincidence always happens in May.

I was crying and pleading the truth that I was never in a relationship with her brother, we only went on one date. I wanted to save this friendship with her or both of them. But this was a family matter so what I said would not fix anything or make it better. What's done is done, and I had to accept that I couldn't do anything about it. My guy friend who was telling me this situation was very neutral about it while not taking sides. He went to go check on our girl friend, I sat there, trying to contain my tears. Once again I'm in a public place with a sudden dramatic development that had made me lose composure to keep a strong facade.

A hostess came by to check on how we were all doing, she was concerned to see that things were not doing OK. She gave me a wad full of napkins to wipe off my purple eyeshadow that smeared my eyes. She asked me what had happened, all I could say that there was a miscommunication that happened. I was so devastated, but I tried to keep the personal information from being revealed as much as possible to prevent further embarrassment, and I wasn't sure if my friends were coming back soon. I didn't want to be caught to be gossiping. I lied for reassurance and perseverance that everything would be Ok, and I would be fine.

The hostess knew that there was some deeper meaning by saying it was a miscommunication, she didn't pry for more details. But she offered me this-

"Would you like a hug?"

I couldn't refuse that offer as I was starved for comfort. She reached down to hug me from where I was sitting because I had no strength to stand up from my depleted energy. She whispered to me that everything was going to be alright. She told me I was pretty and I didn't deserve to cry, she stayed for a second longer and told me she would be back to check on me.

That hug she gave me, it was like getting a hug from a friend I had known for a long time, and it gave me the strength to get through what would happen next.

My friends came back, the evening was cut short due to what had been revealed. The hostess came back to give me my check, and she said with a soft, sweet voice that she was glad I came by and that I would have a good day. She basically told me in a subtle way, I hope things get better for you.

I headed back to my car, had a sobfest on the drive home listening to The Neighbourhood, as I thought about how once again the month of May just doesn't let me have a good day.

That wonderful woman at the restaurant resonated through my mind after that drastic day. I thought about going by the restaurant to find her to thank for her act of kindness. I should have done it, but I just couldn't bring myself to have the courage to have to address that day again, and I didn't know how to say it. I don't even know if she works there anymore. If I ever get the chance to see this woman again, I'd like to tell her that the concern and comfort she did for me that day had helped my heart a little by getting that compassion. I felt so sad and small in that moment, everything fell apart in pieces and that hug helped me put the pieces together long enough to go home.

These two people in different parts of my life have no idea that I still think about the fact that they took time out of their day to see what was wrong. Not many people do that in their daily life to insert "Helping a stranger in sadness", on their list.

By sharing these kind stranger stories, does it make you think of that one certain stranger that you still remember despite the fact that you don't know their name, or where they went in the world?

Maybe you've been that stranger someone thought about.