This is a blog that I originally featured on another site in 2019, about the importance of asking for help and admitting that we might not have it all together…I say “we” because I am still learning how to do this every day! I recently watched the movie Glass and in one crucial scene someone tries to convince the main character that he is not a superhero; he is just a man with a delusion. It wasn’t long before he started to believe it. Often we take other's criticisms like this. I’m curious to see how relevant this post is, almost three years later. Plus, you get the chance to see some of my early art-blog work!
I woke up not feeling quite “normal” yesterday. Have you ever had one of those days, and it does not even seem like there should be a reason? Then later I met with Mom and we got to talk about her vacation and what's going on in my life. When I went to my small group on Thursday night, we were talking about the topic of depression and what effects it has on people.
Sometimes we react incorrectly when we are trying to stay strong for other people and should actually share some of our experience. One of the things that a woman there mentioned really hit home. She was saying exactly what I have felt before, as far as needing to feel independent. It seems like here in Texas, our mindset is to pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and not to ask for help or act like we ever need anything! It reminded me of what my counselor told me earlier this year. Then as I was considering the truth in what she said, our leader begin to explain that sometimes when we don't ask for help we affect other people around us. Often they need to see someone who is vulnerable and sometimes it really does hurt sharing our pain. But listen-- It makes the difference in the life of someone else! We are not meant to be perfect all the time. After both of these thoughts were shared right in a row I was actually tearing up. Then all of a sudden my leader said, “It was just like Hannah said earlier…” I was completely thrown off guard and had to actually tell myself while he and at least three other people were making eye contact with me: “Don't cry. Don't cry. Don’t cry.”
On Friday I was frustrated with things at work, to the point that I had to tell my boss that I did not know what I was doing on a project. I asked my other boss and him to help me figure it out.
This might not seem like a big deal to you, but I like to figure things out. I spoke with a coworker later to explain that there are two things that I hate to do: 1) admit that I don't know something and 2) ask for help. So that was the cap to a somewhat emotional last two days! I might simply be tired, or I might be in the process of learning something. Whatever this is, I'm going to get some caffeine in me and hope that it gets better!
What about this hits home for you? What is the hardest thing to admit? And what would happen if you did admit it, even to your closest friends? One of the things that the pandemic brought out in my personality is my need for people. I am an introvert by nature, but I learned that I grow selfish and angry very quickly if left to simmer in my own thoughts for more than a couple of days! We need people. And it’s okay to feel broken. Everyone has experienced something of brokenness. Even if it feels like the world will fall if we ask for that help, the person on the other side is simply waiting to feel needed!