Racism: It's Not Okay but We All Make Mistakes?

Racism. This can be a sensitive topic for many. Some people may even hesitate to read this or just generally join a conversation when this is the topic.

I feel very lucky. I can count on my fingers the number of times that I've been a victim of this type of discrimination. I know some people who have experienced this in ways worse than I have and more times than they can count!

But isn't this sad? That some would feel lucky just to not be discriminated in terms of race as much as others? We may not be able to control our thoughts, but we can control our behaviour.

Back-handed compliments

Honestly, there are types of racism that aren't that obvious. Some people don't even mean to do it, only the person on the receiving end feels this. I hope that this clarifies a few things. Giving a compliment such as:

"You are so pretty for a/an (race)"

or

Looking surprised that someone who dresses well or has a generally accepted physical look is a certain race as if they shouldn't be, is honestly, kind of offensive.

It may sound like I'm complaining about compliments but think about this. You may not mean it that way, but it's kind of like you're saying that people from a certain race are usually ugly or just unacceptable and we should feel lucky to be one of the few exemptions.

Honestly, I have probably done some of these as well, but I do my best not to. So, in case you are not sure, or you have said this a lot about other people, it's really not okay. You may mean well and the person that you are saying that to knows this as well, but it's still a kind of insult.

Swiping Left

Two of my friends use Tinder, one boy and one girl.

By accident, because I borrowed her phone, a message from the notification thing came down and I read it because it popped up.

A boy called her a monkey.

He made the effort to match with her just to insult her. On the verge of panic, I unmatched him. I did not want her to see it and I did not want to embarrass her. It was horrifying. I didn’t think that people like that exist!

This was very surprising for me. And because the thought wouldn't leave my mind, I had asked her if people are ever racist to her. She told me about some of her experiences and it was quite bizarre.

Taking the extra step just to be racist does not make you cool or above other people!

It's not okay to be unconsciously racist, but if you're doing it on purpose, I seriously hope your life gets better, so you would stop finding something wrong with other people.

My guy friend that's also on Tinder told me about his experiences. He's currently talking to a girl whose race he does not know. He doesn't want to ask her what her race is because he doesn't want to tell her his. He said that he has experienced girls who he liked and seem to like him back until he tells them his race. And this has happened so many times that he now tries to avoid saying it or delays it as soon as possible.

I must admit now, as I did to him, that unfortunately I have done this as well. I have, in the past, avoided dating a certain race. It's embarrassing to admit but, if one would write about it, I should be brave enough to do this right?

He did not look surprised at all when I told him, which made me even sadder. It just means it's so frequent that it's just a normal thing for him to know that even his friend has done it to other people.

With the world we live in today and living in a very multicultural country, it's very sad to know and experience and most specially, realize that you are also an instigator of such hate. Please don't get me wrong, it's okay to have an opinion, we all have our own prejudices, but we can control our actions. We can choose to show respect despite our differences and be above our own selves.

It's annoying that racism is still a topic that needs to be addressed and that it's something that we all still need more education about.

We're all equal. We all have talents of our own and we are all just renters in a very limited amount of time in this world.

Everyone's Different and Everyone's the Same by Frank Ape

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