Putting Yourself First

by J R 8 months ago in advice

Being a little selfish is alright.

Putting Yourself First

Is it okay to be a little selfish?

I ask myself this question all the time, is it okay to be selfish? I feel like sometimes as a woman, I put others before myself. I think as women, we tend to do this because we care and want everyone around us to be okay. Maybe it is the maternal instinct in us.

We all have things we need to take care of we all have people we look after, and sometimes we tend to take care of the people around us before we take care of ourselves we don’t mean to, but we do it often.

When it comes to work, and in my personal life, I tend to forget about my needs. I tend to put them on at the bottom of the list. When someone needs something from me, I do it even if, at that moment, I’m doing something for myself. But when I do this, I do not realize how much I need to put my needs at the top of the list, because if I don’t focus on myself and make sure that I’m okay, how will I be able to help people around to make sure they are okay?

Types of People

I think there are a couple of different types of people in the world, people that will always take care of themselves and no one else. These people who will take from you, emotionally and physically, and leave you feeling half full. They don’t care if you’re alright they care if you’re doing something for them.

Then people who give themselves to others let people take so much from them and don’t realize they are giving themselves up for someone else. This tends to happen in relationships, as this has happened to me.

I have given up so much of myself really for someone else; I lost myself within their needs which consumed me. Taking care of them and becoming a different person. Changing who I was for someone else losing myself and falling apart.

Then started to realize that how could that person I changed for not see me falling apart. It was because all along their needs were more important to them, the relationship was just about them that they could take as much as they needed but couldn’t give anything back to me, in those moments, I should have been taking time for my needs not losing and changing myself for someone.

That if I were a just little selfish I would felt better about myself, If I took more time to make sure I was alright, I wouldn’t of wasted time with something that wasn’t good for me. If I took time for myself and refected and been a little more selfish, I would be a better person for my friends and better in that relationship. I would then have understood faster what I need and who I needed.

Moms, Dads, Husbands, Wives, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends

Whatever you are to someone, you need to take care of yourself. You have to be a little selfish to be okay; now, I’m not saying get that next pairs of shoes and not buy your kids something, because that’s just weird. I am saying take that extra deep breath in the bathroom In the morning or even that long poo you may need.

Balance your life way where you’re busy but take care of yourself, because again, if you don’t take care of yourself, then you aren’t useful to anyone else. But do it for you because that is important, being okay for you. Again, being a little selfish is fine within reason. Take the time you need to develop and understand your needs and wants. Become a stronger person if required and become a better person, be a better person for you!

Take care of yourself!

Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'

Wine obsessed. Coffee obsessed. Blogger, runner, and traveler. Moving between Boston and London. American hoping one day I wake up and have an English accent. A girl can dream, right? Mommy of Max, a Yorkshire terrier with an attitude.

See all posts by J R