We all reach a time in our life when we lose sight of who we are, like in the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.” We tend to forget “us” in being there for others since we are in so many various positions in life, such as parent, employee, and husband. Although Stella regained her groove after meeting a man 20 years her junior, how can we be certain that her groove will last? Stella had some unresolved issues in her life that she needed to address before going on vacation to Jamaica. Taking a vacation is only a band-aid solution. When you return, all of your issues are still waiting for you.
To begin working on your groove, you must first take out the junk that has been preventing you from being joyful. When I say garbage, I’m referring to the emotional issues in your life that are preventing you from living your best life. If you’re having trouble forgiving someone from your past, you’re dealing with an emotional issue that must be addressed before you can go on with your life. It’s like walking around with an anchor linked to your heart if you hold on to your wrath. Because you are still stuck in the past, any possibilities that come your way will be disregarded.
Iyanla Vanzant addresses how we must begin in the attic of our brains and work our way down to the basement of our minds in her book “In the Meantime.”
Physical issues might sometimes prevent us from regaining our groove. Let’s pretend you’ve been putting off cleaning your garage. The more you think about doing it but don’t do it, the more you’ll be held back. Stella was working at a lucrative position in the film, but the stress was too much for her. Her ambition was to manufacture furniture, but she was doing nothing to make it a reality. Few individuals recognize that the things we don’t do physically fatigue us more than the things we do physically. As long as you postpone, your energy level will drop, making it even more difficult to get things done.
Your subconscious begins to accuse you of being a slacker, and after a while, you begin to believe what your mind is telling you. To feel better about yourself, you must begin taking little efforts to get back into activity. If you have a desire or a task that has to be completed, set aside a particular amount of time every day or once a week to do it. You will notice that after this situation is resolved, you will experience a sense of urgency.
After you’ve gotten rid of the trash, it’s time to focus on yourself. Now is the moment to pay close attention to yourself and figure out what makes you happy. You will be asked to do something special for yourself on a regular basis throughout this time. Every Thursday, I set aside time for me. On this day, I get takeout for the kids and do whatever makes me happy. This is what I do on this day to give myself particular attention, even if it’s simply reading a book.
Another thing to consider is removing individuals from your life who do not contribute to your happiness. If you’re in a relationship where you’re giving more than you’re receiving, it’s time to reconsider. I’m not just talking about romantic connections here. This can also include relatives and friends. People have a propensity to misinterpret your compassion as a sign of weakness. These folks will continue to take and not give as long as you do not set boundaries with them.
You are deserving of better! You must accept that you have the right to be self-centered. Who will look after you if you don’t pay yourself extra care on a “regular” basis? You must learn to refuse. Simply say no if it’s something you don’t want to do or don’t have time to do. Except for paying taxes, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do in life.