Humans logo

Phases of Style...

An Investigation of Growing Older

By Annie KapurPublished 3 years ago 10 min read
Like
Phases of Style...
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Now that I am twenty-five, there are many things about my life now that I never would have known that I had been when I was say about sixteen years' old. I have been through my own teenaged phases and stages and personalities and styles throughout the years and honestly, where I am now seems like the one I am going to stick with for the rest of my life. I am happy here with this stage of my style and personality. It is nothing over the top, it is nothing invisible but it feels authentically me.

What I want to investigate here is how we can be more open-minded when it comes to teenagers and preteens who are going through their different stages and phases at the moment. We can encourage and discourage certain styles, we can affirm their identities and offer advice, we can lend them a hand into investigating more and give them a hand when they are in a darker place.

I want to share with you the different stages of style and culture I went through as a preteen and teenager and though I do not like talking about this so much, it seems that in order to understand how to do this, I have to understand how I did it to begin with.

The Anecdote:

Me: Aged 11 - (2007)

I was coming out of my childhood at eleven years' old or thereabouts and I was into anything that my parents were into I guess. I used to have Elvis Presley on CDs and Tapes, I had my own personal interests in music such as Green Day and Michael Jackson and I was into dressing like a child. I was in no way and never really have been into making myself look older than I am (though, in recent years that became a problem since I am told I look about twelve instead of twenty-five). Be that as it may, I have found in my investigations that this is the age in which the child forms their style for the next few years. Let us have a look at the (slightly embarrassing) style I formed for myself.

Me: aged 13 - (2009)

I grew up in the emo/scene culture and so, I followed that. I listened to goth rock, emo and punk - bands like Fall Out Boy, Green Day and My Chemical Romance were a big deal back in the day. Panic! at the Disco still had their exclamation mark and life was good. I had really short hair and a massive sweeping fringe indulged in jet black from putting mustard oil on my hair every few weeks. I owned chokers, fingerless gloves, those multicoloured studded belts, red and white ties, jet black shirts and skinny jeans, and so much more. I wanted to fit the archetype of the emo/scene/punk reality. It got to the point that most of the people in my class had the same haircut. At this time, I am going to put myself at around fifteen as a marker, but my age was anywhere between thirteen and sixteen.

I am not going to lie to you, the emo/scene culture was not a very nice thing to be a part of. There was a dark side to it that I did not even want to entertain even though I had myself indulged in it a couple of times. It is basically everything you think of when you think of emo stuff.

But then, everything changed again.

I was seventeen and at a new school and so, I got into different things. I was a lot quieter and this time, I was more interested in dressing like Michael Jackson than anything else in the world. In a way, I am still into this because I still indulge in my military jackets and highly shiny clothing from time to time. But, this was at school. I was in sixth form and I was at school. I remember going into school dressed in the gear that Michael Jackson wore for the album cover of "Bad" (1987) and I even curled my hair. My hair was short anyway, so it did actually look a lot like his when I did it. When I look back on that time, I am slightly confused about what made me go to school dressed like that. But, it no longer matters.

I thought that from the ages of seventeen through to about nineteen, I was being my authentic self, but no. I wasn't. I went to university, and it changed yet again.

This time, I was a person who wore movie t-shirts and plaid jackets. I wore skinny jeans and sketchers. This was 'normie' university fashion. It was cheap, it was effective and it was comfortable. I carried a backpack and I had pink hair. You read that correctly: I had pink hair. Throughout university, I would change my hair to every colour you could think of. By the end of my degree, my hair was electric red and then, when I went on to my MA - I settled for one colour in particular that I really enjoyed the most. My natural dark-brown hair.

This went on from the ages of about nineteen through to twenty-two. It was around twenty one that I really found myself. I found myself in 1950s high fashion and music culture.

I own over twenty different types of rockabilly/swing dresses

Swing dresses, pill-box hats and skirt suits styled on people from Bette Davis to Marilyn Monroe to Jackie Kennedy, I fell in love with 1950s fashion. I grew my hair out long, died the bottom a bright and light brown and wore numerous hats on my head. I had wigs, extensions, pins and pill-boxes. There were many things I put in my hair and finally, this was what I had always wanted. To this day, I own about fifty different hats and about thirty different dresses. My hair has gone entirely back to its natural colour and I am happy this way. Having gone through all of that, I have ended up becoming the woman I thought I was - kind of exactly like the rest of my family. I went back to my childhood and listened to all the old fifties music my father introduced me to and that is how I eventually came full circle. From a baby who used to wear big dresses, expensive shoes, pretty hats and lots of girly stuff to a woman in her mid-20s who wears big dresses, expensive shoes, pretty hats and lots of girly stuff - I can honestly say I did not think it would have turned out this way.

The Investigation:

By Markus Winkler on Unsplash

What does all of this mean?

Well, it means that there are, what we call, 'phases'. Even though we probably should not call them that to a teenager as it can kill any form of hobby or interest that may be developing. For example: when I was this scene kid, I developed an interest in gothic literature. It would lead me on a wild journey all the way through tons of other phases, but the gothic literature part would never leave me. I ended up doing my degrees in literature and film.

All of this therefore means that when a child/teenager shows an interest in a particular phase, there may not be a reason to berate the phase of the child. For example: the development of certain skills are more dependent on going through these phases. If you were to take a phase such as the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which is a big phase for teenagers at the moment - the requirement for skills such as imagination and understanding are quite high and the teenager will develop these along the way. A lot of teenagers then proceed to write fictions about their favourite things - again, the writing skill requires that knowledge of the subject, the writing fluency and the imagination to do so.

By Randalyn Hill on Unsplash

But an important skill it could teach the teenager is kindness. Kindness is seriously lacking these days and being kind to another person who shares your interests (or who does not) can be inspired by these various phases as they will learn conversation skills. No, it does not matter if those skills are only online, the world is changing and all conversations are no longer just in person or on the telephone. But I do think that a lot of teenagers get a bad reputation from the elders who believe that they should be keeping things 'in the old days'. Again, as long as the world changes, our methods of communication will change with it. As the new methods of communication arise, kindness is lacking as people are now behind the safety of the screen. You need to understand that if you want your child/teenager to learn kindness, you have to let them communicate with others of their own age online. Allow them to make mistakes, allow them to find friends and allow them to be themselves. They are more likely to develop acceptance of others if they too, believe their own identity is accepted.

Wait, don't call it a 'phase' - but why?

By NeONBRAND on Unsplash

Do not call it a 'phase'. Never call it a 'phase' even though you as an older person may know that it is. Use words such as 'fanclub', it makes the child feel included in a group. Use words such as 'interest' and 'study' because it makes the child feel like what they are in to matters and this leads to acceptance. Overall, the more positive enhancement you give to their interests in certain things and their willingness to make it a part of their own identity for however long can lead to even better things. A 'phase' implies that it is fleeting, they will 'get over it' and that it does not matter in the bigger picture as much.

Especially now that the child is doing most of their communication online, there is not that feeling of actual and literal community that was around before social media. This is where the term 'phase' would shrivel up and die. When I was a young scene child/teenager, the term 'phase' was always used by our parents, teachers and people who told us to 'pin back' our fringes that would be so big they covered half of our face (I discourage this as you can grow older with vision problems as a result). But, in person, we could see the literal numbers of us which would more or less be most of the class who were all into the same or similar things and thus, this would aleviate the requirement of being told what to do and what not to do. It was the physical 'strength in numbers' argument and probably caused a lot of teenage rebellion.

So, what was that again?

By Markus Winkler on Unsplash
  • Positive enhancement
  • Not using the word 'phase'
  • Allowing online communications
  • Dealing with negativity with a helping hand
  • Developing kindness in the child

All the things that are super-important to your developing mindset are right here and are actually helped with the 'phases' (use: interest, study, fanclub etc.) that your teenager is a part of (they do not 'go through' - they are a 'part of' - it is more inclusive and can do wonders for their mental wellbeing).

As a teacher, I can say that I have seen every single fanclub imaginable in my time. I have seen the teenagers into Japanese Kawaii Culture to the children into the Hip-Hop Culture. For example: if your teenager is into the hip-hop culture, inspire them to write their own rap songs. It develops poetic skill, vocabulary and writing style - it will also make them more confident.

Conclusion

By Mary Oloumi on Unsplash

When the child/teenager states: "I am into (X)..." then help them with it. Encourage them to read books on the topic, whatever it is - even if it is reality TV, you never know if they could become a producer for television of not. You could get them to watch documentaries and TV shows on the things that they are interested in. Encourage them to be a part of the online fanclubs or even, if they are confident enough - start their own. The point is, if you discourage these fanclubs and groups, then you could be discouraging a key skill and you may have lost some talent your child could have had and a dream they could have realised.

Be kind, be encouraging, be present.

humanity
Like

About the Creator

Annie Kapur

190K+ Reads on Vocal.

English Lecturer

🎓Literature & Writing (B.A)

🎓Film & Writing (M.A)

🎓Secondary English Education (PgDipEd)

📍Birmingham, UK

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.